I need to check these sentences, especially the use of sentence connectors. Can you also suggest a site to me where I can get extra exercises on how to use them in a paragraph? Thank you

1)The soldiers are presented as old and tired.
The poet wonders if the readers can hear his dying friend, whose blood is gargling in his lungs.
2) Lord Henry thinks that beauty matters more than anything else.
In fact, on the one hand, beauty is defined as a form of genius, since it is, in Lord Henry's opinion, not as superficial as thought.
3) On the other hand, youth is depicted as beautiful and divine, whereas old age stands for physical and mental decadence.
4) Furthermore, the aging process is rejected by lord Henry because it makes people sallw, hollow-cheecked and dull-eyed.

1) OK

The poet wonders if the readers can hear his dying friend, whose blood is gargling in his lungs. <~~good imagery! nice!

2) OK

3) On the other hand, youth is depicted as beautiful and divine, whereas old age stands for physical and mental decadence.
Transition problems -- see next post when I get it done.

4) Furthermore, the aging process is rejected by Lord Henry because it makes people sallow, hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed.
spelling and 1 comma

Corrected/Suggestions

In fact, beauty is defined as a form of genius, since it is, in Lord Henry's opinion, not as superficial as thought.

3) On the other hand, youth is depicted as beautiful and divine, while old age stands for physical and mental decadence.

4) Furthermore, the aging process is rejected by lord Henry because it makes people sallow, hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed.

1) The soldiers are presented as old and tired. Additionally, the poet wonders if the readers can hear his dying friend, whose blood is gargling in his lungs.

In this sentence, the word "additionally" can be used as a sentence connector to indicate the inclusion of another related idea. It helps to establish a connection between the soldiers being presented as old and tired, and the poet's contemplation about whether the readers can hear his dying friend. This connector helps to link these two thoughts together.

As for finding extra exercises on using sentence connectors in a paragraph, one website that offers such resources is EnglishPage.com. They provide interactive exercises and lessons on various aspects of English grammar, including sentence connectors. You can visit their website and explore the "Grammar" section to find exercises specifically on sentence connectors.

2) Lord Henry thinks that beauty matters more than anything else. Furthermore, on the one hand, beauty is defined as a form of genius, since it is, in Lord Henry's opinion, not as superficial as thought.

In this sentence, the word "furthermore" is a sentence connector that serves to introduce an additional point or idea. It reinforces Lord Henry's belief that beauty holds great significance. By using "furthermore," the writer emphasizes the importance of the point being made and strengthens the connection between Lord Henry's thoughts on beauty and the subsequent explanation of beauty as a form of genius.

To find extra exercises on using sentence connectors in a paragraph, you can consider visiting websites such as Grammarly or English Grammar Online. These platforms provide a range of exercises on sentence connectors and other grammar topics to help improve your understanding and usage.

3) On the other hand, youth is depicted as beautiful and divine, whereas old age stands for physical and mental decadence.

In this sentence, the phrase "on the other hand" is used as a sentence connector. It is used to introduce a contrasting perspective or an opposing idea to what was previously mentioned. Here, it highlights the distinction between the portrayal of youth, which is depicted as beautiful and divine, and the depiction of old age, which is associated with physical and mental decline.

For additional exercises on sentence connectors, you can visit websites like Perfect English Grammar or LearnEnglishFeelGood.com. These websites offer various exercises and quizzes to practice using sentence connectors effectively.

4) Furthermore, Lord Henry rejects the aging process because it makes people sallow, hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed.

In this sentence, the word "furthermore" functions as a transition word, serving to introduce an additional reason or supporting detail in support of Lord Henry's rejection of the aging process. It reinforces the writer's point about the negative consequences of aging on people's physical appearance, emphasizing the connection between Lord Henry's rejection and the specific effects of aging mentioned.

To find extra exercises on how to use sentence connectors, you can consider using websites like EnglishHints.com or EnglishGrammar.org. These platforms offer exercises and explanations on a range of grammar topics, including sentence connectors.