English

Can you check if my explanation is weak, moderate or strong? Tell me why is it weak, moderate or strong. If it's weak, what can I do to improve my explanation?

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Point 2:
In addition, the Nurse intimidates the patients to show how powerful she is and that she is like a “machine”.

Proof 2:
The Nurse learns to “smell out” the fear of her patients and “put it to use”.
The repeated use of the adjective “big” in reference to the Nurse reflects Broom’s fearful perception of her power rather than her actual size [considering] Broom himself is six feet eight inches, but he feels that his experience has physically shrunk him.
Whenever the Nurse seems in indisputable control, the fog machine churns out its mist, scary, safe, and scary again.

Explanation 2:
The Nurse influences the patients to fear her, especially Broom, so the probability of rebelling against her is little. She is bigger than Broom in terms of power. Whenever Broom fears the Nurse, he hides in the fog.

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  1. Are the words in quotation marks actually quoted from the book? (One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, right?)

    Are you actually including three separate items in Proof 2? Or do you need to phrase them so they read as three consecutive sentences?

    I have no scale by which to rate this as weak, moderate, or strong, but I think you've done a good job in this sequence of ideas. You've made a point and focused on good proof and explanation.

    I still wonder about all those words in quotation marks, though!

    =)

  2. No they're not quoted from the book.
    I'm including three proofs to make my point "solid".
    I don't know about my explanation still, I think it's weak or am I just overthinking on how to comment?

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  3. You should delete all those quotation marks if they're not actually quoting something. The word big, however, should be put in italics since you are referring to it as a word.

    If you want to make your explanation stronger, you could add something about how Broom's reaction to her is indicative of how the other patients react -- retreating into their comfortable patterns of behavior that allows them to not be affected by her power. (RPM, however, might be the exception!)

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