Can you look at my rough outline to see if my points and my main idea is relevant to my focus? And if it isn't, please give me specific ideas on how to improve?
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I'm writing a paragraph on the focus:
A leader is a representative of the totalitarian control over the submissive people. (crushing the individuals)
My main idea: manipulation
A leader has totalitarian control over the submissive people by manipulating their minds.
My points:
1: uses peoples' vulnerabilities to snare them
2: influences people to fear him/her
3: uses their bad qualities, actions, behaviour, etc. to punish the people
for my first point, it's *ensnare* not snare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd either add a 4th point or change #2 to include "influences/forces people to do what he/she wants" -- something like that.
This looks great, except I'm having trouble with your third point.
How does a totalitarian leader use people's bad qualities to punish them? Hitler used violent criminals to persecute the Jews and guard the concentration camps.
Hmmm...maybe that a totalitarian leader looks for flaws and/or excuses to punish someone
I don't know how to rephrase that point *sighs*
Totalitarian leaders mainly punish those who are a perceived threat to them. They punish those who threaten their power, even in minor ways. Hitler also punished/killed homosexuals, Jews, and others that he felt were inferior to "real" Germans.
Certainly! I can provide feedback on your rough outline and suggest possible improvements.
It seems that your focus is on portraying a leader as someone with totalitarian control over submissive individuals, leading to the crushing of their individuality. Your main idea is manipulation as a means for a leader to exert such control. Here are some suggestions on how to improve and develop your outline further:
1. "Uses peoples' vulnerabilities to snare them": You can expand on this point by specifying examples of how leaders exploit vulnerabilities such as fear, insecurity, or emotional needs to gain control over people. Consider explaining how manipulative tactics like persuasive language, emotional manipulation, or the creation of dependency relationships can be used.
2. "Influences people to fear him/her": To enhance this point, provide examples that illustrate how leaders establish fear among their followers. Explore techniques like instilling a sense of constant threat, the harsh punishment of dissenters, or the creation of a culture of surveillance and mistrust.
3. "Uses their bad qualities, actions, behavior, etc. to punish the people": This point could benefit from more elaboration. Specify how leaders exploit people's shortcomings or mistakes to maintain control, such as through public humiliation, ostracization, or selective punishment. Additionally, you can examine how leaders manipulate and magnify negative traits to justify their totalitarian control.
Remember to provide specific examples, evidence, or anecdotes to support each point to reinforce your argument effectively. Incorporating real-life examples, historical events, or literary references could strengthen your paragraph further.
Overall, by expanding on these points and including illustrative examples, you can substantiate your main idea that leaders exert totalitarian control through manipulation, thus effectively crushing individuality.