i have to write a DBQ on the different views within France of the Vichy government from 1940 to 1944. I wrote the introductory paragraph, with the last sentence as my thesis. Does it look all right?
Germany defeated French troops in May 1940 and drove its government from Paris. Marshal Philippe Petain, who was named prime minister in June, arranged an armistice with Germany, keeping around half of France occupied by German troops. In France alone, there were many different views about whether the Vichy government and its peace with Germany were right for France. In fact, Marshal Philippe himself changed his statements about his intentions several times. Though the Vichy government only lasted for four years after it began, it was very controversial while it lasted. Many people did not know what to believe, and views within France ranged from that the Vichy government was corrupt and wrong, to that peace with Germany was solely to protect the country, to that peace with Germany was a great step for France, and would make the country stronger.
Your thesis statement is too wordy, confusing, and doesn't state your point of view.
Writeacher posted excellent advise about thesis statements.
"Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements."
Your introductory paragraph looks solid, and your thesis statement clearly states the main point of your essay. However, there is room to further refine the language to make it more concise and impactful. Here's a revised version:
"After Germany's victory over French troops in May 1940, the French government was forced to flee Paris. Marshal Philippe Petain assumed the role of prime minister in June and negotiated an armistice with Germany, leading to the occupation of half of France by German forces. The Vichy government, which endured for four years, faced widespread controversy within France, as divergent opinions emerged regarding its legitimacy. Marshal Philippe himself made conflicting statements about his intentions. These varying views ranged from condemnation of the Vichy government's perceived corruption and misguided alliance with Germany, to understanding it as a necessary measure to safeguard the nation, or even as a progressive step that would foster French strength. This essay explores the different perspectives on the Vichy government within France from 1940 to 1944."