Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Volunteering is an amazing experience that not only allows you to help your community but also yourself. It gives you the opportunity to learn about yourself. For example, at first I wanted to become a veterinarian so I volunteered at an animal shelter. I loved working with dogs, but not with cats so I realized I could not be a Veterinarian. However working with children is something I thought I would not like, because I am not patient, but working at Hazeltine elementary school last summer showed me I do have patience.
The first day of working with Mr. Ordonez fourth grade class, I had to give a reading test to the children. As each child came to me, I timed them on their reading; I felt like a teacher. Most of the children read 110 words per minute, except Elizabeth who read 30 words per minute. When the teacher found out, he asked me if I could help Elizabeth. I worked with her every day. I would drill her on vocabulary words, and make her read a book every week. I told her that reading was great because you get to learn new things and improve your reading. Sometimes she did not want to do work or read; she always complained. I told her that all she needed to do was to find one great book and she would love to read. She whined constantly; I wanted to give up and let her do what she wanted, then I thought if I did not push her, no one would. One day I saw Elizabeth reading a book I had not assigned her; I will never forget that book “The Lovely Bones.” When I asked her why she was reading that book she replied, “I wanted to read one of your favorite books, and so far it is my favorite too.” From that day on I saw her reading that book at recess and lunch. She started volunteering to read in class, something she had never done before. The teacher was amazed at her improvement in English and at her participation in class.
Helping Elizabeth with reading and seeing her improvement made me feel proud of her and of myself. I felt proud of making a difference in someone else’s life. All she needed was someone to support her and someone to give her a push. I know this because I also hated to read as a child, and like her someone had to push me to read. This experience will always be memorable to me.
Volunteering is an amazing experience that not only allows you to help your community but also yourself. It gives you the opportunity to learn about yourself. For example, at first I wanted to become a veterinarian so I volunteered at an animal shelter. I loved working with dogs, but not with cats so I realized I could not be a Veterinarian. However working with children is something I thought I would not like, because I am not patient, but working at Hazeltine elementary school last summer showed me I do have patience.
The first day of working with Mr. Ordonez fourth grade class, I had to give a reading test to the children. As each child came to me, I timed them on their reading; I felt like a teacher. Most of the children read 110 words per minute, except Elizabeth who read 30 words per minute. When the teacher found out, he asked me if I could help Elizabeth. I worked with her every day. I would drill her on vocabulary words, and make her read a book every week. I told her that reading was great because you get to learn new things and improve your reading. Sometimes she did not want to do work or read; she always complained. I told her that all she needed to do was to find one great book and she would love to read. She whined constantly; I wanted to give up and let her do what she wanted, then I thought if I did not push her, no one would. One day I saw Elizabeth reading a book I had not assigned her; I will never forget that book “The Lovely Bones.” When I asked her why she was reading that book she replied, “I wanted to read one of your favorite books, and so far it is my favorite too.” From that day on I saw her reading that book at recess and lunch. She started volunteering to read in class, something she had never done before. The teacher was amazed at her improvement in English and at her participation in class.
Helping Elizabeth with reading and seeing her improvement made me feel proud of her and of myself. I felt proud of making a difference in someone else’s life. All she needed was someone to support her and someone to give her a push. I know this because I also hated to read as a child, and like her someone had to push me to read. This experience will always be memorable to me.
Volunteering is an amazing experience that not only allows you to help your community but also yourself. It gives you the opportunity to learn about yourself. For example, at first I wanted to become a veterinarian so I volunteered at an animal shelter. I loved working with dogs, but not with cats so I realized I could not be a Veterinarian. However working with children is something I thought I would not like, because I am not patient, but working at Hazeltine elementary school last summer showed me I do have patience. Rephrase to get rid of all the second-person references ("you" and all its forms); check for correct capitalization - where it's needed and where it's not.
The first day of working with Mr. Ordonez fourth grade class, I had to give a reading test to the children. As each child came to me, I timed them on their reading; I felt like a teacher. Most of the children read 110 words per minute, except Elizabeth who read 30 words per minute. When the teacher found out, he asked me if I could help Elizabeth. I worked with her every day. I would drill her on vocabulary words, and make her read a book every week. I told her that reading was great because you get to learn new things and improve your reading. Sometimes she did not want to do work or read; she always complained. I told her that all she needed to do was to find one great book and she would love to read. She whined constantly; I wanted to give up and let her do what she wanted, then I thought if I did not push her, no one would. One day I saw Elizabeth reading a book I had not assigned her; I will never forget that book “The Lovely Bones.” When I asked her why she was reading that book she replied, “I wanted to read one of your favorite books, and so far it is my favorite too.” From that day on I saw her reading that book at recess and lunch. She started volunteering to read in class, something she had never done before. The teacher was amazed at her improvement in English and at her participation in class. Add "On" at the beginning of the first sentence; check on formation and use of possessive nouns; check on comma usage - when a comma is needed and when it's not; check on logic ("sometimes" and "always" in the same sentence?); correct run-on.
Helping Elizabeth with reading and seeing her improvement made me feel proud of her and of myself. I felt proud of making a difference in someone else’s life. All she needed was someone to support her and someone to give her a push. I know this because I also hated to read as a child, and like her someone had to push me to read. This experience will always be memorable to me. Good, clear paragraph!
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/subject_object.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
The personal quality or accomplishment that is important to the person in this story is their experience volunteering at Hazeltine elementary school and helping a student named Elizabeth improve her reading skills. This experience made the person proud because they were able to make a difference in someone else's life by providing support and encouragement. It relates to the person they are because they were able to discover a new level of patience within themselves and realize the impact they can have on others through their actions.
If you are interested in finding personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences that are important to you, here are a few steps you can take:
1. Self-reflection: Take some time to think about your values, passions, and interests. Consider what activities or experiences have had a significant impact on you or have brought you a sense of fulfillment and pride.
2. Make a list: Write down the qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences that come to mind. This can be helpful in organizing your thoughts and giving you a clearer picture of what matters to you personally.
3. Evaluate significance: Reflect on why these qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences are important to you. What do they say about your values, strengths, or goals? How do they contribute to the person you are or aspire to be?
4. Seek feedback: Talk to friends, family, or mentors who know you well and ask for their perspective. They may be able to provide insights or observations about your personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences that you may not have considered.
5. Reflect on growth and impact: Consider how these personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences have shaped you as an individual. Have they helped you grow, learn, or overcome challenges? Have they had a positive impact on others or the community?
By following these steps and engaging in introspection, you can identify personal qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, or experiences that are important to you and understand how they relate to the person you are.