English

Is this a okay paragraph? Can someone help me with it?

People write on their wall about their daily life in social networking because people discuss about their life and to conversation with their friends or even people we do not even know. I would go on other people’s wall in face book because sometimes I have suggestions to for my friends. My friend would ask where is a good place to eat is an example to a conversation. I would see people posting on their wall talking about where they at or going and where people would go and comment on it. It seems like stalking when going to other people’s wall. Stites wrote an article about his experience going on the a social networking. According to the article “Someone to watch over me,” “ I scroll through the messages to see where my friends went last night, and when tracking their progress through various bars and noting the crossed paths“ (Stites 1). Stites shows that everyone would see where their friends are located at.

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  1. People write on their social networking walls about their daily lives and converse with their friends or even people they do not even know. I go on other people’s walls in Facebook because sometimes I have suggestions for my friends. One friend asked where a good place to eat is, and I answered her. I see people posting on their walls, talking about where they are or are going. It seems like stalking when going to other people’s walls. Stites wrote an article about his experience going on social networking. In his article “Someone to watch over me,” he wrote, "I scroll through the messages to see where my friends went last night ... tracking their progress through various bars and noting the crossed paths" (Stites 1). Stites shows that everyone can see where their friends are.

    You need to work on using the correct verbs and tenses, and on not being wordy. (Wordiness is when you use far too many words to say something simple.) So compare yours and mine carefully to catch all the punctuation and grammar and word choice fixing I did!

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    Writeacher
  2. thank you Writeacher,
    Can i get some suggestions what else should I write about?

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