can you evaluate my essay ? tell me waht do you think about it, and what should i do to improve it.
Satisfaction
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. This saying made me think about life, people, and their attitude toward it. This saying reflects how we human beings tend to look for what we don’t have. It’s like we just see what we’re missing and make it our goal to have it. It demonstrates the human nature that is never content with they have. We always think that what we don’t have is what we want or need, but actually we never look at what we have and say that it is enough for me or it is all I want. This means that I agree with the statement that says “people are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different”.
I agree with this statement for some reasons but mostly because I think that this is the human nature. I think that content people in this world are rare. Moreover, people believe that the more they have the happier they will be which is not true. Human beings are known for always wanting to be the best and to have everything, which is part of their nature. I think that no matter how many reasons I give or how deeply I explain, I will never be able to explain the human nature. I leave this part to psychologists.
The best example I can give you is by asking you to look around you. Look at the people around you, how they act, think, and live. If you actually look you will see what I see. You will see that the vice president of a company is not content with all the houses, fancy cars, and money he has. He desperately wants to be the president of the company. Another simpler example is kids. When you give them a new toy they play with it and enjoy it for an hour or two. Then you take them to the mall or to a toy shop and you will see them asking for all the toys on the shelf. You see even kids are not content. That’s why I believe that it is the human nature to be unsatisfied.
I strongly believe that people will never be fully satisfied. And those who are satisfied god bless you. You made me believe that there is a chance that this world is still fine. I really envy those who live happily and satisfied and I wish they would show us the secrets of living satisfied. I don’t think that there is a better ending for my essay than this quote: satisfaction is a treasure that never ends.
Sara
You might wish to capitalize God. The main premise of your essay is all too true. Just wait 'til those people who have been collecting all their life, have to downsize!
Instead of "unsatisfied," would you like "dissatisfied?"
I'll leave it to the experts as to how you might make it better.
Sra
Thaaaankk youuu
I really appreciate it.
Overall, your essay effectively explores the concept of satisfaction and argues that people are generally unsatisfied with what they have. You provide examples to support your point and acknowledge that this trait is part of human nature. Your concluding quote emphasizes the idea that satisfaction is elusive and valuable.
To improve your essay, here are a few suggestions:
1. Introduction: While your opening sentence about the grass being greener on the other side is attention-grabbing, it would be beneficial to provide more context and background information on the topic of satisfaction. This will help readers understand the relevance and significance of your thesis.
2. Thesis statement: Ensure that your thesis statement clearly conveys your stance on the topic. In this case, you state that you agree with the statement that people are never satisfied, but it could be further refined and explicitly mentioned in the thesis.
3. Development of supporting ideas: While you do provide examples of how people are never satisfied, it would be helpful to further develop and explore these examples. For instance, you briefly mention the vice president wanting to be the president, but it would be more compelling if you delved into the motivations and consequences of this desire for more. Adding specific anecdotes or additional examples will strengthen your arguments.
4. Counterarguments: To make your essay more well-rounded, consider addressing counterarguments. Are there any circumstances or perspectives in which people could be satisfied? By acknowledging and providing counterarguments, you strengthen your own position and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
5. Conclusion: While the quote you chose for your conclusion is effective, it would be beneficial to include a brief summary of your main points. Restate your thesis and briefly recap the supporting ideas you presented. This will help bring your essay to a cohesive close.
Remember to proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Overall, your essay offers a thoughtful perspective on satisfaction, and with these improvements, it can become even stronger.