Background
You’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human Resources Department arranges an
interview and tells you to bring with you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing
skills. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided
you to choose the type of position for which you applied.
Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully
about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want
to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience. Take time to
think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and
formal business writing.
Process
1. Prewrite about your field of study and create a specific job for which you might want to apply
at a particular business or organization in your area. Outline what that position would look like.
Brainstorm details, names, titles, and facts to provide depth to your paragraph and enable you
to write a polished paragraph.
Here is my draft
For many years I have worked in Customer Service performing the duties of Billing, and Collection of client’s payments. Even though I enjoy my job I always wanted to be able to work from home. After doing some research I came across an article about working for home. In this article one position was Medical Billing and Coding, which is similar to working in the billing field. This is why I have chosen to pursuit a career in Medical Billing and Coding with Penn Foster School. With a degree in medical billing and coding I will able to convey all my skill as a Billing Specialist and Medical Billing and coding professional. In this position your will find that I am able to process daily invoices, reconciliation of financial report, Internal auditing of processed invoices, reconcile, balance and close weekly and monthly financials queries, resolve customers disputes, correct and manual bill invoices, Collect receivables and apply credits. While being responsible for system automation of recurring of customers billing and payments. You will find I am hard worker, Multi task, trustworthy and reliable person. Who is eager to learn and enjoy taking on new challenges. I feel my qualification will greatly benefit your company.
First of all, make sure you have addressed all the parts of your directions:
1. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you applied.
2. Prewrite about your field of study and create a specific job for which you might want to apply at a particular business or organization in your area. Outline what that position would look like. Brainstorm details, names, titles, and facts to provide depth to your paragraph and enable you to write a polished paragraph.
Reread your own paragraph and make absolutely sure you have addressed the instructions -- especially the bold parts.
Then, once you've revised and rewritten as needed, follow the directions below. Once you've revised and rewritten again, then repost your paragraph and someone here will be happy to critique it for you.
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Please go over your paragraph with the following in mind. Thanks to PsyDAG for the following:
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
[You can also either read it aloud to someone else or have someone else read it aloud to you! (The latter works really well!)]
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other people are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
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And here are three really good websites that will help, too.
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/10/28/editing-secrets-everyone-should-know/
http://teacher.sheboyganfalls.k12.wi.us/staff/dehogue/FSSH/proof.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/proofing.htm
To polish and revise your paragraph about your inspiring experience, let's first break it down into its main components:
1. Introduction: Start by briefly mentioning your experience in customer service and how you have enjoyed it. This sets the context for why you were motivated to explore other options.
2. Research and discovery: Explain how you came across an article about working from home and how it led you to discover the field of medical billing and coding. Emphasize the similarity between this field and your previous experience in billing.
3. Career choice: Clearly state that you have chosen to pursue a career in medical billing and coding, specifically with Penn Foster School. This shows your commitment and focus on a specific path.
4. Skills and qualifications: Highlight the transferable skills you possess as a billing specialist, such as processing invoices, financial reporting, auditing, and customer dispute resolution. Mention your abilities in system automation and highlight your qualities as a hard worker, multitasker, trustworthy, and reliable person.
5. Conclusion: Wrap up the paragraph by expressing your eagerness to learn and take on new challenges in this field, and how you believe your qualifications will greatly benefit the company you are applying to.
Now that we have the structure, let's revise the paragraph:
"I have spent many years working in customer service, primarily focusing on billing and collection responsibilities. While I find my current job fulfilling, I have always aspired to work from home. During my research, I stumbled upon an article discussing remote work opportunities, and this is when I discovered the field of medical billing and coding. To me, the parallels between medical billing and coding and my previous experience in billing are clear, which is why I have chosen to pursue a career in this field through Penn Foster School.
With a degree in medical billing and coding, I will be able to apply my skills as a billing specialist and a professional in this industry. From processing daily invoices to reconciling financial reports and conducting internal audits, I possess a range of abilities that make me a valuable asset. I am experienced in resolving customer disputes, correcting and manually billing invoices, as well as collecting receivables and applying credits. Moreover, my proficiency in system automation for recurring billing and payments enables me to streamline processes and ensure accuracy.
As a committed and trustworthy individual, I approach my work with dedication and a strong work ethic. I thrive in multitasking environments and always seek to take on new challenges. I am eager to learn and grow in this field, and I believe that my qualifications and enthusiasm will greatly benefit your company."
By following a coherent structure and focusing on your inspiring experience, qualifications, and enthusiasm, your revised paragraph showcases your motivation for the position and highlights why you are a suitable candidate.