I am doing a formal paper about the book The Great Gatsby and how the character's American Dreams cause them to have pain when they could have been content with more modest ambitions.

Can you look at my introductory paragraph and tell me if I have a good attention grabber and thesis?
Thanks:)

Paragraph:
“The American dream is, in part, responsible for a great deal of crime and violence because people feel that the country owes them not only a living but a good living.” (Abrahansen) Not everyone agrees with this quote, but it truly portrays three of the main characters, Gatsby, Daisy, and Wilson, in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Throughout the book, these three characters are seen being torn apart, whether through love or greed, by wanting to fulfill their American dream. Each of these characters started out with a living. Some were better than others but none the less they had a living. As the story progresses they wanted more than a living, they want a good living.

http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1299357473

Throughout the book, these three characters are seen being torn apart, whether through love or greed, by wanting to fulfill their American dream

Through out the book, these three characters are destroyed by their desire to fulfil their American dream, the ultimate in love and money. Each of these characters "has", but that is not enough. As the story progresses they are destroyed by their desire for "the best".

See of the above has more of an attention getting impact.

That is a lot better:) so can that act as my thesis? even though it is spread out over a few sentences?

thanks

Your introductory paragraph gives a good idea of the main theme you will be discussing in your paper, which is how the characters' American Dreams cause them pain when they could have been content with more modest ambitions. However, there are a few suggestions to improve your attention grabber and thesis statement.

Here's a revised version of your paragraph:

"The concept of the American Dream, often equated with material success and happiness, can sometimes lead individuals astray, causing them to experience pain and disappointment as they relentlessly pursue their aspirations. In F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby, three central characters - Jay Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan, and George Wilson - become entangled in a spiral of desire and ambition, sacrificing contentment for an unattainable ideal. Though they initially possessed a decent standard of living, their burning desire for more than just survival eventually consumes them, illustrating how the pursuit of the American Dream can amplify pain rather than bring fulfillment."

In this revised version, the attention grabber is rephrased to provide a broader perspective on the concept of the American Dream and its potential consequences. The thesis statement is also strengthened by emphasizing the characters' sacrifice of contentment for an elusive ideal.

Remember, the introductory paragraph sets the tone for your entire paper, so it's essential to grab the reader's attention while clearly presenting your main argument.