I have spent 2 weeks writing a paper and I am trying to perfect the introduction. Below I will paste the introduction tell me what I can do to better and what questions you have and what it make you think of...
“The disease of jealously is so malignant that it converts all it takes into its own nourishment (Joseph Addison).” My comprehension of jealousy is very similar to this quote; jealousy leads to overcoming emotions and feeling leading to actions of regret and in the end punishment from God, for not overcoming the powerful temptation and actions of jealously. Controversial murder originating from roots of jealousy and anger from brothers. First death of man to ever be seen in humankind, caused by jealous rage and a sibling rivalry.
My comprehension of jealousy is very similar to this quote; jealousy leads to overcoming emotions and feeling leading to actions of regret and in the end punishment from God, for not overcoming the powerful temptation and actions of jealously. This isn't very clear. Do you mean that jealousy overcomes positive emotions? Does it lead to actions that a person regrets? Does God punish jealousy?
Please clarify this sentence and write what you mean.
The next two "sentences" are not grammatically complete sentences. They are sentence fragments. In addition, they don't make any sense to me. Please use simple sentences to explain what you mean.
Controversial murder originating from roots of jealousy and anger from brothers.
Thats my thesis but I don't understand why it not a grammatically complete sentence. or the next sentence explain how I can make them complete and keep the same idea...
"Controversial murder originating from roots of jealousy and anger from brothers."
If you change "originating" (not a complete verb) to "originated" you'll have a complete sentence. Another word change I'd suggest is changing "anger from brothers" to "anger between brothers."
=)
I there. Get a new sheet of paper- an jot down what you understand about "feelings of jealousy". Then write down what "age group" you think would most likely experience those feelings. I think it boils down to imaturity, and maybe coveting.
To better understand and improve the introduction, here are some suggestions:
1. Clarify the statement about jealousy and its consequences: The sentence "My comprehension of jealousy is very similar to this quote; jealousy leads to overcoming emotions and feeling leading to actions of regret and in the end punishment from God, for not overcoming the powerful temptation and actions of jealously." is a bit unclear. Consider rephrasing it to clearly convey your intended meaning. For example: "In my understanding, jealousy can overpower our emotions and drive us to regretful actions, which may even invite divine punishment for succumbing to its powerful temptation."
2. Correct the sentence fragments and improve clarity: The sentences "Controversial murder originating from roots of jealousy and anger from brothers" and "Thats my thesis but I don't understand why it not a grammatically complete sentence. or the next sentence explain how I can make them complete and keep the same idea..." need some revisions.
- For the first sentence, consider rephrasing it as a complete sentence like: "Controversial murders have originated from the deep-rooted jealousy and anger between brothers."
- The second sentence is not clear and contains grammatical errors. If you want to ask why the previous sentence is not grammatically complete, you can rephrase it as: "Why is the previous sentence not grammatically complete? Can you help me complete it while maintaining the same idea?"
3. Reflect on the targeted age group and the reasons behind jealousy: Consider the influence of immaturity and coveting on the experience of jealousy. Write down your understanding of how these factors contribute to feelings of jealousy.
Remember, the key is to clearly convey your thoughts and ideas in a grammatically correct manner while maintaining a logical flow.