English

o Identify which paragraph was more effective and analyze why this is so.
o Include a discussion of sentence variety and the rhythm of the author’s writing.
o Focus on the writing rather than the opinions presented.
o Underline your topic sentence.

Did I do everything correctly? What can I do to make my paragraph better?


Debt in America is extremely common, many people are loosing everything they have because of financial trouble. I read paragraphs three and five. I found the most effective paragraph to be three even though the writer has a lot of run on sentences making the writing boring to read. because the writer goes into detail about individuals who are denied credit. He or she should have broke up the sentences more to add rhythm to the work. The writer could have been more descriptive and went more into detail. The author explains that people can be denied credit if they have to much outstanding bills, late payments or even to much credit to begin with. I do like that fact that he or she added that individuals that are denied credit will receive a letter in the mail stating why so they have the opportunity to improve their credit, so they will be able to receive credit in the future.

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asked by Jen
  1. Can we do this fairly without having read what you read first?

    Sra

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