i need to know if my sentences and grammar are clear, and if i have the correct topic sentence for each paragraph correct.
1.
If something will cost more than what it is worth because, you do not have the money to buy it is you can purchase it by financing it. Purchasing something by financing it can cost you highly in interest rates. If it were not something you needed like a house, I would wait until I could save up the money to buy it to avoid getting into debt. If not you could end up paying a high interest rate for it and well over more than it is worth. Paying a high interest rate for something that is not worth the price is not worth doing unless you do not mind over paying for things. When you can save up for it and purchase it with cash without any interest or debt. Why pay more for something with high interest that what it is worth, when you can find save and buy it. However, the choice is yours if you want to purchase something that has interest or not.
2.
When you do no have money to purchase something you want like a car. You can finance it to be able to get it. When financing something you have interest that comes with purchasing it. Depending on your credit, your interest rates can be very high or low. Paying interest means you will pay more for it than what it is worth. If you do not mind paying more than what something maybe worth and possibly getting into debt this way of purchasing may be for you. The decision is yours to make, when deciding it is important to know what you can and cannot afford. In addition, it is important you understand your contract and everything on it so that you are aware of what is needed to manage your payments. Having an high or low interest rate can affect your decision of making the purchase or not
1. my topic sentence is >Purchasing something by financing it can cost you highly in interest rates.
2. my topic sentence is>When financing something you have interest that comes with purchasing it.
Topic sentences belong at the beginning of each paragraph, not buried somewhere inside. It could also be the second sentence if there's a transitional sentence first which links the thoughts to the immediately preceding paragraph.
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/paragraphs.shtml
it is the second sentence. the underline didn't show up. so i typed it out. does it look correct?
1. Purchasing something by financing it can cost you in high interest rates.
rephrased slightly
2. When financing something you have interest that comes with purchasing it.
This is incorrect. The interest comes AFTER the purchase, not at the time of purchase.
thank you, no i didn't see that the last time. i re-wrote both of the paragraphs instead of using you, i put them in plural form.
To evaluate the clarity of your sentences and grammar, as well as determine if you have the correct topic sentence for each paragraph, let's break down your writing into smaller parts.
Paragraph 1:
1. "If something will cost more than what it is worth because, you do not have the money to buy it is you can purchase it by financing it."
This sentence is not clear and has grammatical errors. It seems like there is some repetition and confusion in expressing the idea. Let's revise it:
"If you cannot afford to purchase something because it costs more than its worth, you can consider financing it."
2. "Purchasing something by financing it can cost you highly in interest rates."
This sentence is clear and states a main idea about the high cost associated with financing a purchase. This can be considered a topic sentence for the paragraph.
3. "If it were not something you needed like a house, I would wait until I could save up the money to buy it to avoid getting into debt."
This sentence is clear, but it could be improved by removing the repetition of "buy it." Let's revise it:
"If it is not an essential item like a house, it would be wise to wait and save up money to avoid accumulating debt."
4. "If not you could end up paying a high interest rate for it and well over more than it is worth."
This sentence has some grammatical errors and can be confusing. It seems like the intended meaning is that you could end up paying more than the item is worth due to high interest rates. Let's revise it:
"Otherwise, you may end up paying a high interest rate, resulting in paying well above the item's actual worth."
5. "Paying a high interest rate for something that is not worth the price is not worth doing unless you do not mind overpaying for things."
This sentence is clear, but the repetition of "worth" can be reduced. Let's revise it:
"Paying a high interest rate for something that does not justify its price is not advisable unless you are comfortable with overpaying."
6. "When you can save up for it and purchase it with cash without any interest or debt. Why pay more for something with high interest that what it is worth, when you can find save and buy it."
These sentences are repetitive and can be combined. Let's revise them:
"When it is possible to save up and buy something with cash, avoiding interest and debt, it is not wise to pay more for it with high interest than its actual worth."
7. "However, the choice is yours if you want to purchase something that has interest or not."
This sentence is clear and presents a contrasting viewpoint. It can be considered a concluding sentence for the paragraph.
Overall, the topic sentence you identified for the first paragraph, "Purchasing something by financing it can cost you highly in interest rates," accurately summarizes the main idea discussed in the paragraph.
Now let's examine the second paragraph:
1. "When you do no have money to purchase something you want like a car."
This sentence has a few grammatical errors. Let's revise it:
"If you do not have enough money to purchase something you desire, such as a car..."
2. "When financing something you have interest that comes with purchasing it."
This sentence is clear and states a main idea about the interest associated with financing a purchase. This can be considered a topic sentence for the paragraph.
3. "Depending on your credit, your interest rates can be very high or low."
This sentence is clear and provides additional information about how credit affects the interest rates. It supports the main idea stated in the topic sentence.
4. "Paying interest means you will pay more for it than what it is worth."
This sentence is clear and reinforces the idea that paying interest increases the overall cost of the item.
5. "If you do not mind paying more than what something maybe worth and possibly getting into debt this way of purchasing may be for you."
This sentence can be improved by removing the repetition of "paying more" and clarifying the second part. Let's revise it:
"If you are willing to accept paying more than the item's worth and potentially accumulating debt, then this method of purchasing may suit you."
6. "The decision is yours to make, when deciding it is important to know what you can and cannot afford."
This sentence is clear, but it can be improved by rephrasing the repetitive use of "deciding." Let's revise it:
"The decision is yours to make, but it is crucial to understand your financial capabilities and limitations."
7. "In addition, it is important you understand your contract and everything on it so that you are aware of what is needed to manage your payments."
This sentence is clear and provides supporting information about understanding the contract terms. It supports the main idea stated in the topic sentence.
The second paragraph's topic sentence, "When financing something you have interest that comes with purchasing it," accurately conveys the main idea discussed in the paragraph.
In summary, while your writing conveys the main ideas, there were some issues with clarity and grammar. By revising and restructuring certain sentences, your writing can become clearer and more precise.