For my pro side on the paper 'should the richer countries of the world help the poorer countries?'I have written about two pages so far. Starting with my introduction, and going in to my first two main points.
I just wanted to get it all checked before I moved on.
Also, I am using some of the statitistics from websites and I don't know how I can site it in the text.
The ones that I have put in my own words do I just put the link after it? Because I did that in another paper and it was marked wrong.
And what about ones where I tell in the sentence which article the information is from, does it stilll need to be cited at the end of the sentence?
I know there are websites for all of this, but can someone just explain it to mee please? thank you..here's my paper so far?
Should the Richer Countries of the World help Poorer Countries
It is a known fact that all though there are some countries in the world that are abundant in wealth and possessions, there are also other countries at different parts of the world which are developing countries and are deprived of most of the goods that the developed countries enjoy so gladly. It is true that countries like Guatemala, Liberia, and Pakistan are a few examples of the many countries with a large amount of the population living under the poverty line. While other countries like the United States, China, and Russia have most of their people living a well-off, middle class life which is above average for most people in the world today. The question that arises in everyone’s mind is that whether it should be required for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries. In my opinion, the richer countries of the world should definitely help the poorer countries because they have the resources, it would create more peace between the countries, and because there is a moral value of helping the needy in all of the major religions of the world today.
Firstly, I think richer countries should take care of poorer countries because they have the resources and the ability to do so. A country like the United States is rich in it’s resources and should use it to help developing countries because it is almost a sort of indirect duty. Since God has provided these countries with the wealth to do such things there is no proper reasoning as to why they should not. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the infant mortality rate in the Untied States is 6.75 deaths per 1,000 live births.---( Since I've told where I got it from, do I still need to cite it here? If so, how?)
However, in Pakistan, there are 63.95 deaths per 1,000 live births. What these statistics mean are that there are more people dying in the poorer countries due to whatever reason there may be, as compared to the people in richer countries. ---(How do I cite this? Just putting the link doesn't work, I think)
Likewise, the per capita income of the Untied States in the year 2009 was 39,138 dollars. ---(Same question as above)
In the same year, the per capita income of Pakistan was 1,050 dollars.--(same)
While countries like the United States are making big money per year, there are other countries that have people which are just barely surviving.
second point:
Secondly, I believe richer countries should help poorer countries, whether physically or financially, because it will create more peace between the countries. Similarly the peace that will come between the very different countries once they help each other will prevent conflicts from occurring within those countries. Also there is the thought that if we help developing nations develop their own economies then they will eventually become customers of our products, which will result in our benefit. A perfect example of this solution is the Marshall Plan which was made after World War II. This plan strengthened Europe and helped prevent war or any further conflicts there.
I know I'm not going too in detail of things, but that's because I have limit of pages, and I'm already gonna go a little over. But please just let me know if I've mistranslated any of the ifnormation or anything that could be replaced.
Thak you
I only have time to critique the first paragraph.
Should the Richer Countries of the World help Poorer Countries?
It is a known fact that all though (SP) there are some countries in the world that are abundant in wealth and possessions, there are also other countries at ("IN"?) different parts of the world which are developing countries and are deprived of most of the goods that the developed countries enjoy so gladly. (SPLIT INTO TWO SENTENCES.) It is true that (DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE.) countries like Guatemala, Liberia, and Pakistan are a few examples of the many countries with a large (WHAT IS "LARGE" TO YOU?) amount of the population living under the poverty line. While (DELETE "WHILE.") other countries (COMMA) like the United States, China, and Russia (COMMA) have most of their people living a well-off, middle class life (COMMA) which is above average for most people in the world today. The question that arises in everyone’s mind (DELETE "THAT IN EVERYONE'S MIND" SINCE NOT EVERYONE IS THINKING OF THIS.) is that (DELETE "THAT.") whether it should be required for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries. In my opinion, the richer countries of the world should definitely help the poorer countries (COMMA) because they have the resources, it would create more peace between the countries, and because there is a moral value of helping the needy in all of the major religions of the world today. (SPLIT INTO TWO SENTENCES.)
CAPS ARE USED SOLELY FOR CONTRAST.
Limit your sentence length to cover one idea. Instead of relative terms (large, small), it is better to cite specific data. You also have a problem with commas.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/
Here is link for citing sources:
http://www.library.cornell.edu/resrch/citmanage/apa
In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Another option, if it is available on your computer, is to have the computer read it to you.
Also, make use of "Spelling and Grammar" under "Tools" in your word processing program.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
I hope this helps.
Firstly, let's discuss the citations. When using statistics or information from websites, it is important to properly cite your sources to avoid plagiarism. There are different citation styles, such as MLA, APA, and Chicago, that you can follow. In this case, I will explain how to cite using APA style.
For in-text citations:
1. If you mentioned the source in the sentence and paraphrased the information, you need to include the author's last name and the year of publication in parentheses. For example, "According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the infant mortality rate in the United States is 6.75 deaths per 1,000 live births (Author's Last Name, Year)."
2. If you didn't mention the source in the sentence but still paraphrased the information, you need to include the author's last name and the year of publication after the statistical information, inside parentheses. For example, "The per capita income of the United States in 2009 was 39,138 dollars (Author's Last Name, Year)."
Now, let's go through your paper so far:
Introduction:
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and presents your thesis statement effectively. It introduces the concept of wealth disparity between different countries and raises an important question.
First main point:
Your first main point argues that richer countries should help poorer countries because of their resources and ability to do so. You support your point by providing statistics on infant mortality rates and per capita income in the United States and Pakistan. To improve this section, consider providing more context and explanation around why these statistics are relevant to the argument. Additionally, remember to properly cite the sources using APA style as mentioned earlier.
Second main point:
Your second main point argues that helping poorer countries will create more peace between countries and can bring economic benefits. You mention the Marshall Plan as an example, which is a good historical reference. It would be helpful to include more specific evidence or examples to further support your point and strengthen the argument.
Overall, your writing is clear and concise. Make sure to review the paper for any grammatical or spelling errors. Keep in mind that adding more detail and specific examples can strengthen your arguments. Also, be sure to properly cite your sources and check with your teacher or professor about any specific citation requirements they may have.
Good luck with the rest of your paper!