Thanks for help and websites. Here is what I've written about the building fence so far. please tell me if I'm on the right path. I'm for building the fence and tell me if i need to correct my sentence. Thanks!
Due to borders being unsafeguarded, illegal Aliens residing in America are statically high. They are increasing and successfully entering in the U.S each day. Some of the illegal immigrants come from many different countries like South America, one million from Asia, and seven million from Mexico, three million from Central America, Middle East, Canada and the Caribbean. They all have one thing common which is to have better live hood. By estimation there are more than 20 million illegal immigrants in America.
According to Illegalimmigrationstatistics over 70 percent of the United States annual population growth and over 90 percent of California, Florida and New York results from illegal immigration; at a cost of nearly $68,000,000,000.00 annually.” illegal Aliens are causing social problems in America as they steal resources, overcrowding, increase burden on public transportation, identity theft, environment suffers, roads, drugs coming in, houses and health system is affected due to illegal immigration.
Building a fence will reduce the amount of illegal aliens entering in the U.S., social problems and drug smugglers.
Every country has the right to keep invaders away and protect its citizens at any cost. Building a fence is one strategy and it will not be an end to the solution however, it will drastically minimize the amount of illegal immigrates coming to America that violates the law of the country. In America illegal immigrates are causing a huge problem each day and the citizens are being affected.
One of the major problems illegal immigrates are causing is that; they are taking jobs away from legal immigrants and citizens, commit crimes, and escape the country. In fact illegal Aliens are given aid more compared to citizens by the government. Because they are not legally entitled to benefits, illegal aliens get free school, free medical care, and social benefits.
While the citizens are having difficulty paying their medical bills. Fence is an effective way to reduce illegal immigrates coming in, there will be also less social problems, less drug smugglers and no overpopulation. San Diego is a great example of slowing down their illegal immigrants. The state installed a fence and the crimes declined.
It seems like you are on the right path with your argument for building the fence. Your sentences are clear and demonstrate your reasons for supporting the construction of a fence to address the issue of illegal immigration. However, there are a few areas where you could make some improvements for better clarity and flow. Here are some suggestions:
1. In the first paragraph, you can rephrase the sentence "They are increasing and successfully entering in the U.S each day" to "The number of illegal immigrants entering the U.S. is constantly increasing." This conveys the same idea but in a clearer and more concise manner.
2. Instead of using "one million from Asia, and seven million from Mexico, three million from Central America, Middle East, Canada, and the Caribbean," you can rephrase it as "illegal immigrants from various countries, including Asia, Mexico, Central America, the Middle East, Canada, and the Caribbean." This makes the sentence flow better.
3. In the second paragraph, "overcrowding, increase burden on public transportation, identity theft" can be revised as "contributing to overcrowding, burdening public transportation, and causing identity theft." This provides a clearer and smoother list of the problems caused by illegal immigrants.
4. In the sentence "Building a fence will reduce the amount of illegal aliens entering in the U.S., social problems, and drug smugglers," you can revise it as "Constructing a fence will help reduce the number of illegal aliens entering the U.S. and contribute to a decrease in social problems and drug smuggling." This makes the sentence more grammatically correct and clearer.
5. The sentence "Every country has the right to keep invaders away and protect its citizens at any cost" can be rephrased as "Every country has the right to protect its borders and ensure the safety of its citizens." This revision helps to make the sentence more concise and effective.
6. In the last paragraph, consider changing "illegal immigrates" to "illegal immigrants" for consistency. Additionally, instead of "Fence is an effective way to reduce illegal immigrates coming in," you can rephrase it as "A fence is an effective measure in reducing the influx of illegal immigrants." This revision improves the clarity and flow of the sentence.
Overall, your argument is well supported, and with these revisions, your paragraph will be even more effective in expressing your opinion on building the fence. Good job!
Overall, it seems like you are on the right track in expressing your support for building a fence to address the issue of illegal immigration. However, there are a few sentences that could be corrected or improved. Here are some suggestions:
1. Instead of saying "illegal Aliens residing in America are statically high," you could rephrase it as: "The number of illegal immigrants residing in America is significantly high."
2. Instead of saying "They are increasing and successfully entering in the U.S each day," you could say: "Their numbers are increasing daily as they successfully enter the U.S."
3. When mentioning the number of illegal immigrants from different regions, consider rephrasing to make it clearer: "For example, there are approximately one million illegal immigrants from Asia, seven million from Mexico, and three million from Central America, the Middle East, Canada, and the Caribbean."
4. Instead of saying "They all have one thing common which is to have better live hood," you could say: "They all share a common goal of seeking a better livelihood."
5. When referring to statistics, it would be helpful to provide a specific source for the information you are quoting, such as "According to the website Illegalimmigrationstatistics, over 70 percent of the United States' annual population growth is attributed to illegal immigration, and over 90 percent of California, Florida, and New York's population growth is caused by illegal immigration, resulting in a cost of nearly $68 billion annually."
6. It would be clearer to say "Illegal aliens" instead of "illegal Aliens" throughout your writing.
7. Instead of repeating "illegal Aliens" multiple times, you can use different synonyms or variations, such as "illegal immigrants" or "undocumented individuals."
8. Instead of saying "Building a fence will reduce the amount of illegal aliens entering in the U.S.," you could say: "Constructing a fence will help reduce the number of illegal immigrants entering the U.S."
9. Instead of saying "By estimation there are more than 20 million illegal immigrants in America," you could say: "It is estimated that there are over 20 million illegal immigrants currently residing in America."
10. Instead of saying "In America illegal immigrates are causing a huge problem each day and the citizens are being affected," you could say: "Illegal immigration is a significant and ongoing problem in America that adversely affects its citizens."
11. Instead of saying "Because they are not legally entitled to benefits, illegal aliens get free school, free medical care, and social benefits," you could say: "Due to their lack of legal status, illegal immigrants often receive free education, healthcare, and social benefits, while citizens struggle with these expenses."
12. Instead of saying "Fence is an effective way to reduce illegal immigrates coming in," you could say: "A fence is an effective measure to deter illegal immigration."
13. Instead of saying "Slowing down their illegal immigrants," clarify what you mean by saying: "San Diego provides a successful example of how a fence installation has contributed to a decline in criminal activities associated with illegal immigration."
Remember to always double-check your facts and cite reputable sources to support your claims. Additionally, it's important to consider and address potential counterarguments or opposing viewpoints to strengthen your overall argument.