I have to revise sentences to eliminate illogical or overused coordination. Are the following sentences correct? Thanks!
The object of fencing is to be the first to touch the opponent five times, and a "president," who is sometimes assisted by a number of judges, officiates at competitions.
Revised: The object of fencing is to be the first to touch the opponent five times. A "president", who is sometimes assisted by a number of judges, officiates at competitions.
The next one I feel is correct and needs no revision: Generally, a fencer specializes in one of the three weapons, but some competitors are equally skilled with all three.
Thanks for any help!
The first one is fine.
What is it that you don't understand here:
http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1285530811
??
Yes, the revised sentence "The object of fencing is to be the first to touch the opponent five times. A "president," who is sometimes assisted by a number of judges, officiates at competitions" is correct. It eliminates the illogical coordination between the objective of fencing and the role of the president.
The second sentence "Generally, a fencer specializes in one of the three weapons, but some competitors are equally skilled with all three" is also correct and does not require any revision. It effectively conveys the intended meaning without any overused coordination.
Yes, your revised sentence is correct. You successfully eliminated the illogical use of coordination by dividing the sentence into two separate statements.
As for the second sentence, you are correct! It does not require any revision. It is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning.