Can you think of any examples of how interactions with a partner or spouse may have been influenced by what you learned by observing other family members or even television? I know one example might be seeing your parents argue when you were a child. But I can't think of any other examples. Please help!
My favorite example is the man who got a bad cold shortly after he was married. He pitifully asked his wife for orange juice. When she brought him a four-ounce glass of juice, he decided that she didn't love him. You see, when he was a sick as a child, his mother brought him big eight-ounce glasses of orange juice.
Your parents views on money, religion, and education will also influence how you get along with your spouse.
My mother used to order me about what to do, which I did not like. Later, when my wife would tell me to do something even in the nicest way, I got feelings of hostility. We dealt with this by having her ask me question rather than giving commands, e.g., "Would you take out the garbage?" or "The garbage needs to be taken out." rather than "Take out the garbage."
Essentially the question and the first statement at least gives me the illusion of control.
Certainly! Observing other family members or even television can indeed influence our interactions with our partner or spouse. Here are a few more examples for you:
1. Communication styles: Growing up, if you witnessed your parents using aggressive or passive communication styles, you might unknowingly adopt similar patterns in your own relationship. Similarly, if you saw healthy and open communication between your family members on TV, you might try to emulate that in your relationship.
2. Conflict resolution: Watching your parents argue as a child can have a significant impact on how you approach conflicts in your own relationships. For instance, if your parents often resorted to yelling or avoided conflicts altogether, you might subconsciously adopt these behaviors. On the other hand, if you witnessed your parents calmly discussing and compromising, you might be more likely to adopt those constructive conflict resolution strategies.
3. Gender roles: Television shows and family dynamics can shape our perceptions of gender roles within a relationship. For example, if TV shows or family members reinforce traditional gender roles, such as expecting the man to be the primary breadwinner or the woman to take care of household chores, it might influence how you divide responsibilities and make decisions in your own relationship.
4. Expectations of romance: Romanticized portrayals of relationships in media can impact our expectations of what a partnership should be like. Shows or movies that depict grand gestures, constant excitement, and minimal challenges may lead to unrealistic expectations, potentially causing dissatisfaction in real-life relationships.
It's important to note that while these influences can shape our behaviors and expectations, it doesn't mean they determine them. Recognizing these influences can help us be more conscious and actively choose healthier patterns in our own relationships. Additionally, open and honest communication with your partner is crucial to understanding each other's experiences and discussing how these influences have shaped your perspectives.