I had to write a persuasive essay about a debatable issue and I chose to write about the Ground Zero Mosque. This is just my rough draft, so I know it's not near perfect; but can someone please tell me what I need to add/remove, etc. ? Thanks!
Is building a mosque on or near Ground Zero disrespect to the victims of 9/11? Is it just another step towards Muslim domination of America? Are mosques places that teach violence, and extremism? I, being a Muslim, visit a mosque regularly, and I see no such relation to any of the above questions.
Firstly, what is a mosque? It is a place of worship for Muslims, where they can go to pray, read their holy book, and engage with other people. For as long as I can remember, I have been visiting the mosques near where I’ve lived. Never have I experienced violence there, nor have they taught anything that is extreme and aggressive. As Larry Hart says in his article ‘The ground zero mosque should never be allowed to be built’—“All across this country Americans are fighting the idea of mosques being built in their areas because of fear of what that institution might bring with it. Since we know that much of the extremism that exists in the religion of Islam comes from the mosque, it is not unreasonable for Americans to want to exercise their rights in preventing their construction.”
I disagree completely with what he says. The institution only wants peace within the community, since the word Islam itself means peace. He also states in his article—“There is more than just the fear of plotting and planning from potential enemies here. This is the site where it all began. This is our Pearl Harbor. It is a slap in the face of the victims. And the victims are all Americans.”
On the day of September 11th, there were many Muslims among the people who died in the twin towers, even if they were American Muslims. The mosque is not being built at the site to disrespect the victims; that could never be the purpose of a mosque. It is simply a sensitive location they have chosen to build this place of worship.
I think a mosque should be allowed to be built on Ground Zero because it’s really not that big of a deal; Besides, they want to make it a community center as well, so there should be nothing wrong with it. Maybe some people are extremists and some terrorists are Muslim, but not every Muslim is a terrorist, and not every terrorist is a Muslim. There are many Muslims who love America just as much as a Christian American does. America is all about freedom of religion and if Muslims can’t build their place of worship at a specific spot, how is that freedom? All I can say to everyone is- Live and let live.
-MC
You are definitely on the right track. Please repost it after you've polished it.
I'm not really sure what to polish though. Can you please give me some ideas? Thanks
-MC
Let the piece sit for a day or two. Then, go back and read it s l o w l y out loud. Do you find anything that needs correcting? Does it say what you really want to say?
Gotcha. Thanks
-MC
I think you'll find this CNN article interesting.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/09/10/clark.islamic.center.language/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn
Overall, your essay addresses the topic of the Ground Zero Mosque and presents your perspective as a Muslim who visits mosques regularly. Here are some suggestions for improving your rough draft:
1. Add more background information: Begin the essay by providing some context about the Ground Zero Mosque controversy. Explain when and why the controversy emerged, the proposed location of the mosque, and the arguments made by both supporters and opponents.
2. Develop your arguments further: Expand on your points about the nature of mosques and their role in promoting peace within the community. Provide examples or anecdotes from your personal experience to support your claims. Additionally, counter Larry Hart's arguments more directly by explaining why you disagree and presenting evidence to support your viewpoint.
3. Address potential counterarguments: Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your essay. For example, acknowledge concerns about sensitivity regarding the location of the mosque and explain why you believe it is important to respect religious freedom and the rights of Muslims to build their place of worship.
4. Enhance organization and structure: Ensure that your essay flows logically from one point to another. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and provide smooth transitions between ideas. Consider organizing your arguments in a way that builds from the least controversial to the most significant point.
5. Proofread and revise for clarity: Review your essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Read through your essay to ensure that your thoughts are expressed clearly and concisely. Consider revising sentences or paragraphs that may be unclear to the reader.
Remember, these suggestions are just guidelines to help you improve your essay. You can make additional adjustments based on your personal preferences and feedback from others. Good luck with your persuasive essay!