Directions: We are doing a problem- solution essay so I chose to right about Cyberbullying. It's supposed to be six paragraphs. So after your finished reading this could you please give me a comment on it, and a letter grade thanks.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a very serious matter throughout the United States. It could cause others to express low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and it could cause someone to commit suicide. Every second a teen or adult logs into Myspace, or Facebook, and begins to chat with strangers. Strangers who hide their identity, and you never know who they actually are. Such as they could say that you and them were best friends, but really they don't know who you are. Some teens get so addicted to chatting that they actually invite these strangers to visit their own home! I think every American parent needs to step up and make a change to stop these sites. Why? Because other sites are going to be similar to these, and more problems are going to occur.
Cyberbullying has many causes. One major cause would be online dating because you never know if your talking to someone who is a pedophile, or is a sexual predator. You also don't know if some of the information they tell you are true. Another cause could be Myspace because this a very popular, and social internet site that many teens log on to. I also think chatting rooms are causes because many pedophiles, or bullies may chat with you and say hurtful comments.
Now that you have learned, and understand these causes, now I will talk about the effects. A major effect of this issue is suicide. For example, in 2006 a thirteen year old girl, Megan Meier committed suicide because one of her neighbors who pretended to be a boy on Myspace at first was trying to develop a friendship. "His," messagers were nice and friendly, until "he" started calling her names. Before these messages were ever sent she already had low self-esteem, and after she read the messages she committed suicide. Another effect of cyberbullying could be low self-confidnece because when someone bullies you, you listen to them and feel the same way about yourself. Instead of worrying of what other people think, just be proud that you are unique.
To prevent cyberbullying from happening today, and in the future parents need to supervise their child's time online and know what sites they gon on. Another solution could be schools nationwide can explain the dangers of cyberbullying, and how to protect yourself from bullies. The major solution could be that police, or law enforcers can look on the internet and check the backgrounds of the people who are saying these comments. I think the sooner we can pevent cyberbullying, the safer the internet will be for children, and adults.
Hopefully, in the future these chatting sites won't be available so no one can get hurt. I belive we don't need Myspace, or Facebook to communicate you can use other devices to talk to friends. I hope others can gain information from this because everyday someone is always saying hurtful comments that can cause so much damage. What I can learn from this is "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all."
In conclusion, cyberbullying is a very dangerous problem that is occurring on the internet. If we don't pay attention, and just ignore this then more teens can get bullied. I hope these sites will not be available, and the internet can be safe once again.
A contest about favortie or activity essay
Comment: Overall, your essay provides a good overview of the issue of cyberbullying and its causes and effects. Your examples and personal anecdotes help to illustrate the seriousness of the problem. However, there are a few areas where you could improve your essay:
1. Organization: Consider reorganizing your paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas. It may be helpful to start with an introduction that clearly states the problem and your thesis statement, then continue with paragraphs discussing causes, effects, and solutions.
2. Development of ideas: While you mention the causes and effects of cyberbullying, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and impactful.
3. Solution-focused: In your last paragraph, you mention the importance of preventing cyberbullying but don't provide any specific solutions. Consider expanding on your ideas and offering concrete steps that individuals, parents, schools, and society can take to address this issue.
Overall, I would give your essay a grade of B-. With some adjustments to the organization and the addition of more specific examples and solutions, your essay could be even stronger. Keep up the good work!