I am writing a character analysis on "everyday use" by alice walker. I am having trouble with my thesis. This is what I have "Even though Mama loves both of her daughters, she is jealous of Dee’s true characteristics of being strong-minded, educated, and motivated because she portrays all of Dee’s actions negatively and she has a closer bond with Maggie." I would like to re-word this to make it more affective.
That thesis contains too many of the supporting details you'll use to prove your main idea. Try this:
Even though Mama loves both of her daughters, she has a closer bond with Maggie.
If you haven't already done so, be sure to write up an outline of how you plan to support (prove) this idea. Don't start writing the paper until you have both in front of you -- your thesis statement AND your outline.
i thought a thesis statement contained supporting details which give the paper it's direction
No, it doesn't have to. Here are a couple of webpages that are excellent in helping students learn how to write effective (but not so long that they are convoluted and wordy) thesis statements:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
To improve the effectiveness of your thesis statement, you can consider rewording it as follows:
"Although Mama harbors deep affection for both her daughters, she finds herself struggling with a complex mix of emotions when confronted with Dee's strong-willed nature, education, and ambition, ultimately leading her to reassess her own understanding of heritage and nurturing a stronger bond with Maggie."
In this revised version, the statement highlights the conflict Mama experiences due to Dee's qualities, the subsequent impact on her perception of heritage, and the resulting strengthening of her relationship with Maggie. By expanding on the emotional journey Mama undergoes, this rewording makes the thesis more impactful and engaging for the reader.