writing

I am writing a character analysis on "everyday use" by alice walker. I am having trouble with my thesis. This is what I have "Even though Mama loves both of her daughters, she is jealous of Dee’s true characteristics of being strong-minded, educated, and motivated because she portrays all of Dee’s actions negatively and she has a closer bond with Maggie." I would like to re-word this to make it more affective.

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  1. That thesis contains too many of the supporting details you'll use to prove your main idea. Try this:

    Even though Mama loves both of her daughters, she has a closer bond with Maggie.

    If you haven't already done so, be sure to write up an outline of how you plan to support (prove) this idea. Don't start writing the paper until you have both in front of you -- your thesis statement AND your outline.

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  2. i thought a thesis statement contained supporting details which give the paper it's direction

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  3. No, it doesn't have to. Here are a couple of webpages that are excellent in helping students learn how to write effective (but not so long that they are convoluted and wordy) thesis statements:

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

    http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/

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