i finished writing my intro and i'm working on writing my second paragraph in which i have to narrate my story as if i was telling it to another person.
Here I go:
For eight years, i was born and raised in India. My family and i lived in an four story apartments which included seven other families and their kids in the apartment. All of our families were very close and we called eachother family because we have this huge history together. The parents knew eachother before the kids were born. While the dads went to work in the same company, the moms would get together and go shopping or gossip.
After a couple of years, all the kids were born and the kids became close like the parents. My friends and i would ride bicycles and we all went to the same school together. We attended a school that includes grades from preschool to grade twelve. we knew eachother since we were practically babies so i have this connection with them that i don't have with my other friends in USA. we attended eachother's first birthday parties. Our parents shared our first step and first word with eachother.
Now i kinda need help revising my paragraph espicially about the part of the parents. i think it would be cool to say that the parents were friends before all the kids were born and there were all together. I don't know if i'm going use everything in the paragraph but i'm just freewriting right
You're doing a good job. I've made some corrections -- especially capitalizing the pronoun I and separating each other into two words. When you finish writing and proofreading your essay, we'll be glad to help you then.
I was born and raised for eight years in India. My family and I lived in a four story apartment building which included seven other families and their kids. All of our families were very close and we called each other family because we have this huge history together. The parents knew each other before the kids were born. While the dads went to work in the same company, the moms would get together and go shopping or gossip.
After a couple of years, all the kids were born and the kids became close like the parents. My friends and i would ride bicycles and we all went to the same school together. We attended a school that includes grades from preschool to grade twelve. we knew each other since we were practically babies so i have this connection with them that i don't have with my other friends in USA. we attended each other's first birthday parties. Our parents shared our first step and first word with each other.
Sure! I can help you revise and refine your paragraph. Based on your description, here's a revised version of your paragraph:
"For eight years, I had the privilege of growing up in India. My family and I resided in a four-story apartment building that housed seven other families, creating a close-knit community. Our connection went beyond being neighbors; we regarded each other as extended family due to our shared history and experiences. It was remarkable to know that our parents were friends even before we, the kids, came into the picture. As our fathers worked together in the same company, our mothers would gather to go shopping or share gossip, strengthening their bond. Over time, as we all grew up, the kids also became inseparable. We rode bicycles together and attended the same school, which spanned from preschool to grade twelve. These friendships were unique because they were cultivated from infancy, fostering a special connection that I don't have with my other friends in the USA. In fact, we were present for each other's major milestones, from attending each other's first birthday parties to our parents sharing our first steps and words with one another."
Feel free to use this revised version as a starting point and make additional changes as per your preference.