I posted this on here before as well, just to heasr from people if it sounds good, but I'd like to get it edited from you. Can you please check to see if my sentences make sense, and point out any grammatical errors. Thank you very much for all your help:-) If there is anything else I have missed adding in here, can you also please point that out.
At the Lunch Counter
A girl, fifteen perhaps,
licking her fingertips,
smoothing splotches
of butter and salt
off her blue pants,
cheek muscles rippling.
Nathan who is blind
sidles to the stool beside her.
They talk, he pompously,
she making faces
he can't see,
telling the boys she isn't serious.
I'm Barbara, she says,
blowing her cheeks out,
wrinkling her forehead,
Fred Ward's Barbara.
I have red hair!
She giggles
since her hair is brown
with aluminum
fishes at the temples.
But he can't see
Then,
she stiffens and frowns
wanting us to go away
so she can be kind.
~by Alden Nowlan
Make the poem come alive-You were there
You were an observer at the lunch counter. You have a family member who is blind. What would you like to say to Barbara about her behaviour?
Here it is:
I would tell Barbara that whatever she did at the lunch counter was wrong. I would have told her to act more mature by being able to put herself in his position and see how it feels. I would have told her to go and ask for a punishment from that child. Someone with a disability doesn't give another the ability to go and make fun of it. Understanding comes from the heart, and maturity comes from the mind. If one holds neither of these, then they are the ones lacking in humanity. I would have told Barbara that she possessed more disabilities than the kid she made fun of. Even thought that kid was blind, Barbara should have seen the innocence in his eyes. I would tell Barbara to say sorry to him and make an effort to change her attitude towards such people.
Your response to Barbara's behavior at the lunch counter is clear and conveys your perspective on the situation. However, there are a few grammatical errors and revisions that can be made to improve the clarity and flow of your message. Here is an edited version of your response:
"I would tell Barbara that her behavior at the lunch counter was inappropriate. It is important to consider how it feels to be in someone else's position, especially if that person has a disability. Making fun of someone with a disability is disrespectful and lacks empathy. True understanding and maturity come from the heart and mind. If someone lacks these qualities, they are the ones lacking in humanity. In this case, I would emphasize to Barbara that she possesses more disabilities than the child she mocked. Despite being blind, that child's innocence should have been apparent to Barbara. I believe Barbara should apologize to him and make an effort to change her attitude towards people with disabilities."
In this revised version, I corrected grammatical errors, rephrased certain sentences to improve clarity, and ensured that the overall message flows smoothly.