I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America.
are you a new instructor. For business communications
I assume you want this critiqued.
ASAP is not a universally known term. "pleased as punch"...What foreign person would have any idea what it means?
see http://www.word-detective.com/052699.html#pleasedaspunch
Shaking hands is not a good practice unless you know the customs of the foreigners.
Finally, "sell you on America". ARRRRRGGGGG. You had best stick to your company.
You wrote, "I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America."
Better, might be this:
Welcome to our company's headquarters in the United States. While you and I have spoken over the telephone and in e-mail, I will be very happy to finally meet you get to know you in person. Again, welcome!
... or something like that ... without all the slang and hideous phrasing!
=)
Thank you for your feedback on the original message. It's important to consider cultural differences and use clear, professional language in business communications to avoid any misunderstandings. Here are a few suggestions for improving the message:
- Instead of saying "ASAP," you can use a more formal and clear statement such as "at the earliest convenience" or "as soon as possible."
- Using idiomatic expressions like "pleased as punch" may not be easily understood by non-native English speakers. It's better to use straightforward language to convey your excitement, such as "I am very happy" or "I am delighted."
- Regarding the mention of shaking hands, it's important to be aware of cultural norms and practices when greeting people from different countries. It's best to adapt your greetings to fit the customs of the individuals you are addressing. If you are unsure, it's safe to stick with a general statement like "I look forward to meeting you in person."
- Lastly, instead of saying "sell you on America," it's more appropriate to focus on the benefits and qualities of your company or organization. You can highlight what makes your company unique or why it would be a great opportunity for the recipient.
Remember, when communicating in a professional setting, it's important to be culturally aware, use clear and concise language, and focus on the key message you want to convey.
It seems like you have written a welcome message to a new member of your company or team. However, there are a few suggestions to improve the wording and ensure effective communication.
1. Instead of using the abbreviation "ASAP," it would be better to write it out as "as soon as possible." Not everyone may be familiar with the abbreviation.
2. The phrase "pleased as punch" may not be understood by everyone, especially non-native English speakers. It would be more effective to express your enthusiasm and excitement in a straightforward manner.
3. While shaking hands is a common practice in Western culture, it's important to consider the customs and preferences of individuals from different backgrounds. It's best to learn and respect their cultural norms before assuming that shaking hands is appropriate.
4. The phrase "sell you on America" may imply that you are trying to persuade someone to like or accept America. It's important to maintain professionalism and focus on your company or organization's goals instead.
A better version of your message could be:
"Welcome to our company's headquarters in the United States! I wanted to take a moment to personally welcome you. We've had the opportunity to connect through various means of communication, but now it's finally time to meet face-to-face. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and introducing you to our team. Once again, welcome to our little family here in the States!"
Remember to always be mindful of your audience and tailor your communication to ensure clarity and understanding.