Writeacher, I fixed some things in here, but I know that there are still a few mistakes in here. I think it's with the intro and the ending. Could you please check it for me, and tell what I need to do to make it better. I'll keep on working on it, till you say "Excellent". Thank you very much for all your help:-)
In the poem "Dulce et Decorum Est", by Wilfred Owen, we see that he talks about the First World War and creates powerful visuals in our mind by describing people part of it. We can almost see through his eyes and notice the same type of danger he was suffering.
I think that the poem was written as a time capsule into the past for the new generations. I suppose it was basically written for everyone to think and know about all the troubles the people went through during this war. Each stanza reflects its own image for the reader to see; they could easily picture themselves in the story.
There are many emotions expressed in this poem. Some of them are anger, distress, fright, misery, etc. They all combine together as misfortune. You can tell by the fact that he's added every tiny detail about the daunting atmosphere around him. Those tiny details give quoted examples of him being surrounded with gloomy emotions. Obviously, he wouldn't be happy to see all this. He must have felt really terrible. I can try to fit myself in his shoes, and sense the awkward situation.
The title seems to reflect on something good when it reads “Sweet and Right”. At the end we get to know what the author actually says. He tells us that it is not a wonderful experience to fight for your country die at the end. He clarifies in his poem that individuals will cheer you to fight for your country, but, in truth, fighting for your country is basically punishing yourself to death, which is pointless. He says that War is not worth it. From my opinion, undergoing death is horrific. Life is a gift sent to each individual, and it’s a shame to see it all go to waste by simply starting mini fights, which end up being big wars. The writer proves the saying: It is sweet and right to die for your country” wrong. It is not sweet to die for your country. He proves that saying as a lie. All anyone can leave behind by dying are, their memories; which makes each individual connected to that person shed tears.
Some techniques in this poem are similes, alliterations, imagery, stress, stanzas, and rhymes and there is a periodic ending in this poem. An example of a simile in this poem is: Bent double, like old beggars under sacks. He describes the people as beggars. An example of alliteration in this poem is: Men marched asleep. As I said before there is imagery in this poem; you can visualise what the author says. When I say there is stress in here, I mean that some parts in the poem are expressed with greater emphasis than others. Some are slowly and emotionally expressed while others are kind of expressed in anger, etc. Overall this whole poem tells every reader to look forward to their future, and make good choices which will lead to fortune one day. Fighting for needs won't do the trick. The main objective is to take things slowly and calmly, no matter how much force is put on you. One can only put itself in trouble if it creates enemies, and enemies are created by fights. Fights can only be stopped, if emotions full of careness are passed along.
Better -- good!
1. Make sure there are no instances of "I" or "you" or any of their forms anywhere in the poem.
2. Have someone read your paper aloud to you. Wherever the person stumbles or wherever it sounds weird to you, those are places where it needs smoothing out. I see places where there are missing words or incorrectly used words.* There are not many, but they are there, and the best way to find them is for YOU to HEAR your paper. You cannot find these things by reading it over silently to yourself.
*Examples:
"Those tiny details give quoted examples ..." <~~but then you include no quotations?
"I can try to fit myself in his shoes, and sense the awkward situation." <~~The phrasing should be "to walk in his shoes" -- also, this is far worse than an "awkward situation" -- this is life and death. The guys who didn't get their gas masks on fast enough didn't make it, and his example is the soldier who was "flound'ring like a man in fire or lime."
This should read --
1. Make sure there are no instances of "I" or "you" or any of their forms anywhere in your paper.
In order to check and improve your introduction and ending, here are a few steps you can take:
1. Read your introduction and ending carefully to identify any errors or areas that can be improved.
2. Check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes. You can use spelling and grammar checking tools or ask someone to proofread it for you.
3. Pay attention to the flow and clarity of your sentences. Make sure your ideas are expressed clearly and logically.
4. Consider the use of language and vocabulary. Is it appropriate for the tone and purpose of your writing? Are there any words that can be replaced with more precise or stronger alternatives?
5. Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the poem and provides a brief overview of the main topic and themes. It should grab the reader's attention and set the context for the analysis.
6. In your ending, summarize your main points and offer a concise conclusion that ties everything together. You can also include your own personal thoughts or any broader implications you may have drawn from the poem.
Remember, writing is an iterative process, so it may take several revisions to achieve the desired outcome. Keep working on your introduction and ending, and make sure to revise and refine until you are satisfied with the result.