This is the 2nd body paragraph for my Romeo and Juliet essay about fate. Can you please read over it and please give me your opinion and any advice on how to make it better.
Throughout the play, the characters have mentioned fate and fortune numerous times which exhibits their belief that predetermined events play throughout their lives. Near the beginning of the play, before Romeo goes to the Capulet's party, where he meets and falls in love with Juliet, he makes known that he has an unusual feeling and says, "Some consequence, yet hanging in ther stars/ Shall bitterly begin this fearful date..." (I.iv.107-108). He fears that Fate has something in stored for him, starting that night. His premonition fallows what the Chorus says in the Prolouge. Later in the play, Romeo chalenges Juliet's cousin, Tybalt, to a duel. Although Romeo emerges victorious, slaying Tybalt at the spot, Romeo immediately regrets his actions and exclaims, "O, I am fortune's fool!" (III.i.129). This suggests that Romeo believes that Fortune, not himself, was responsible for Tybalts death.
"Throughout the play, the characters have mentioned fate and fortune numerous times which exhibits their belief that predetermined events play throughout their lives."
Flows better as:
"Throughout the play, the characters mention fate and fortune numerous times, exhibiting their belief that predetermined events play throughout their lives."
Try to narrow down the summarizing of the story, you spend too much of the writing trying to tell the reader what happens in the story, and instead of having a literary response, it has become more of a summary.
Allow me to grade it:
(Out of 10)
Flow: 7
Ideas: 6 (Try for some more original concepts, think outside the box. It doesn't have to make sense, you just have to make it sound like it makes sense.)
Vocabulary: 8 (Good usage of vocabulary, definetly sufficient)
Hope this helps!
you need an apostrophe on "Tybalts" in the last line.
Nice job
you need an apostarophe at the end of the sentence in order to state that it is stateing something.
Don't use run-on sentences!! which means if or when possible, start a new sentence.
what is the poem a voice by pat mora about?
decent
Your paragraph provides a good start, but there are a few areas where you can improve it to make it more effective. Here's an edited version with some suggestions for improvement:
Throughout the play, the characters repeatedly reference the concepts of fate and fortune, indicating their belief in predetermined events shaping their lives. Early on in the play, prior to attending the Capulet's party where he meets and falls in love with Juliet, Romeo expresses an unsettling feeling, stating, "Some consequence yet hanging in the stars / Shall bitterly begin this fearful date..." (I.iv.107-108). This line reveals Romeo's fear that fate has something in store for him on that very night. It parallels the Chorus's statement in the Prologue, foreshadowing the events that are to unfold. Later in the play, after challenging and ultimately killing Juliet's cousin, Tybalt, in a duel, Romeo immediately regrets his actions, exclaiming, "O, I am fortune's fool!" (III.i.129). This statement implies Romeo's belief that his actions were governed by external forces like fortune or destiny, absolving himself of personal responsibility for Tybalt's death.
Here are a few points to consider for improving your paragraph further:
1. Provide more context: It's helpful to introduce the play and briefly summarize the main plot points related to fate before diving into specific examples. This will ensure that readers who are unfamiliar with Romeo and Juliet can understand the significance of the quotes you're mentioning.
2. Include specific evidence: While you've included relevant quotes, you can further strengthen your argument by analyzing and providing more specific examples from the text. This will help support your claim that the characters believe in the influence of fate and fortune.
3. Expand on the significance: Don't forget to explain why these examples are important in relation to the overall theme of fate in Romeo and Juliet. Connect the characters' beliefs or actions to the broader theme of fate, and elaborate on the implications these beliefs have on the plot or character development.
Remember to proofread your revised paragraph for any grammatical or punctuation errors. Overall, by providing more context, specific evidence, and expanding on the significance, you can enhance your paragraph and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the theme of fate in Romeo and Juliet.