english due tommorow. Need Help
you kind of have to post WHAT you need help with in order for anybody to HELP you!!
I am supposed to be telling about my day at the assembly which i had last week. Ms Sue gave the title to me and she also gave me intro for it. i had family going over this. i don't know please revise
Rah! Rah! Bah!
Bah humbug! How excited I was, it was time for me and my class to go to the assembly. The announcements told all the home economic classes to come down. Our teacher led the way and I slowly wandered off the hallway with some of my friends. I tried to walk fast and pass them all. I had actually promised my B.F that I’d wait for her alone. I was unluckily unable to wait for her because there were teachers around me everywhere. They were telling everyone to go and sit down. So I just decided to go and search for a spot in the gym for me and my B.F. I didn’t want to get in trouble by any teachers, so I unfortunately had to break my promise with my friend.
I wanted to sit in a spot in where I could be seen by my friend in a flash. I decided to sit by my other friends and wait for her arrival. We were sitting in a pretty, good, high spot, the whole view was very clear. Finally, she made her entrance and I could tell that she was trying to look for me by her facial expressions. I tried to stand up and holler her name, but it was too late, she had already run back outside to go and look for me. I was all frustrated. I prayed for her to not become mad at me for not waiting for her. After a few moments, she finally came back and saw me.
She didn’t like the seating arrangement I had made, she wanted to sit in a better spot, away from my other friends. I listened to her, and picked another spot to sit in. She didn’t find that spot comfortable either and told me to go to the other side to search for a better one. Everyone was sitting down, the assembly was almost about to start. I told her to forget about it, and we remained sitting.
Thus, as the assembly started, my ears and eyes were pointing towards the stage; all my focus was headed for the speaker. As I got to know that the assembly was about the B.C Lions, I was kind of down in the dumps. I didn’t actually know what the assembly would be about. I had heard that it was going to be something related with hockey. So I thought that maybe they would show us clips about Ice Hockey for Canada; something related with the Olympic Games on the big Screen in our gym. After seeing the B.C Lions on stage, I was depressed. Generally I really dislike sports, I find them really boring. I know that sports are good for exercise, but everyone should do their daily exercise artificially.
So I sat there, trying to listen to them as much as I could, but really the B.C lions had come to cheer on all the athletic players, to give them support, and advice; I wasn’t one of them. Slowly, slowly I just withered away in my imagination. Even though, I should have been paying attention, I couldn’t control myself. I started daydreaming about going home and just imagining about the weekend to come.
My friend woke me up a couple of times, and I was back in reality. The B.C lions were calling up people on stage to play opposing games. They played and had fun, but I was deadly fed up. I tried to wither away this time, but I couldn’t. I spaced out a couple of times. I also saw some people getting called onto the stage to dance. They all danced for two minutes, and they all danced finely. I totally spaced out after that. I was unable to remember anything. I guess that I have a wild mind.
Just at the end, the principal made an announcement, I didn’t hear it clearly the first time, but I heard it the second time. He decided to extend our lunch hour. Everyone was so happy, and so was I. This was the only assembly that I didn’t pay attention to. I usually pay attention to assemblies that are not related with Sports. I like exercising, but I just don’t like to play or watch sports. This was my day at the assembly.
my ending i don't like. anyway i could change that. please revise this. does my title go well wih my paragraph.
i don't really like my ending and i need this to be revised. i had some help but i really need more
You have used abbreviations without explanation. These will usually mean nothing to a reader.
You have run-on sentences throughout. Find and fix them.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
Your last paragraph seems to be a mish-mash of different things. Pick one to concentrate on.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/conclude.html
I don't really know what you mean. i looked over my paragraph many many times, and i picked out some errors this time and here it is. i really need help. please. please. please.
Rah! Rah! Bah!
Bah humbug! How excited I was, it was time for me and my class to go to the assembly. The announcements told all the home economic classes to come down. Our teacher led the way and I slowly wandered off the hallway with some of my friends. I tried to walk fast and pass them all because I wanted to meet up with my Best Friend. I had actually promised my B.F that I’d wait for her alone. I was unluckily unable to wait for her because there were teachers around me everywhere. They were telling everyone to go and sit down. So I just decided to go and search for a spot in the gym for us to sit at. I didn’t want to get in trouble by any teachers, so I unfortunately had to break my promise with my friend.
I wanted to sit in a spot in where I could be seen by my friend in a flash. I decided to sit by my other friends and wait for her arrival. We were sitting in a pretty, good, high spot, the whole view was very clear. Finally, she made her entrance and I could tell that she was trying to look for me by her facial expressions. I tried to stand up and holler her name, but it was too late, she had already run back outside to go and look for me. I was all frustrated. I really did not want her to become mad at me and start a commotion. After a few moments, she finally came back and saw me.
She didn’t like the seating arrangement I had made, she wanted to sit in a better spot; away from my other friends. I listened to her, and picked another spot to sit in. She didn’t find that spot comfortable either and told me to go to the other side to search for a better one. Everyone was sitting down, the assembly was almost about to start. I told her to forget about it, and we remained sitting.
Thus, as the assembly started, my ears and eyes were pointing towards the stage; all my focus was headed for the speaker. As I got to know that the assembly was about the B.C Lions, I was kind of down in the dumps. I didn’t actually know what the assembly would be about. I had heard that it was going to be something related with hockey. So, I thought that maybe they would show us a video related to the Olympic Games about it. After seeing the B.C Lions on stage, I was depressed. Generally I really dislike sports, I find them really boring. I had hoped for entertainment.
So I sat there, trying to listen to them as much as I could, but really the B.C lions had come to cheer on all the athletic players, to give them support, and advice; I wasn’t one of them. Slowly, slowly I just withered away in my imagination. Even though, I should have been paying attention, I couldn’t control myself. I started daydreaming about going home and just imagining about the weekend to come.
My friend woke me up a couple of times, and I was back in reality. The B.C lions were calling up people on stage to play opposing games. They played and had fun, but I was deadly fed up. I didn’t find the game that amusing. Later, the B.C Lions asked some people to come and dance. They only called the ones on stage who knew how to; just for fun. They all danced for a couple of minutes, and they all danced finely. I totally spaced out after that. I was unable to remember anything. I guess I have a wild mind.
Just at the end of the assembly, the principal came up and made an announcement. I didn’t hear it clearly the first time, but I heard it the second time. He decided to extend our lunch hour. After hearing that, everyone starting stomping their feet and hollering YAY! This was the only assembly that I didn’t pay attention to. I usually pay attention to assemblies that are not related with Sports. I like exercising, but I just don’t like to play or watch sports. This was my day at the assembly.