Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are
working as a cashier and sales clerk at two department stores. You know she plans to apply at similar
stores in your town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a reliable assistant
to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and
you’re sure she’d be good at this job.
Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You e-mail her a paragraph explaining the
specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job
skills required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use correct business writing
to show her that you take your recommendation seriously.
Here's what I have so far:
I heard you just moved back in town. Have you started your employment search yet? I know you are used to the retail industry but have you considered working in an office environment? My boss, Mrs. Elizabeth Jackson, is looking for an assistant to answer phones, schedule appointments, maintain patient records, data entry, and identify mistakes on reports. You have exceptional interpersonal communication skills, always punctual, love grammar and spelling, very dependable, and possess outstanding organizational capabilities. I think this will be a perfect fit because the most important part of the job is receiving patients/answering phones, which is great considering your phenomenal people skills. Mrs. Jackson will appreciate your background as she started out in the retail industry before launching Jackson Transcription Services. I hope you will consider joining our team; it would definitely be a mutually beneficial relationship.
I would delete the / (slash mark) between "patients" and "answering" and insert the word "and."
I would also change the word "as" in the sentence starting with "Mrs. Jackson" -- change it to "because."
Otherwise, this is terrific.
=)
Will do! Thank you for reviewing my work!
You're very welcome.
=)
Hey [Cousin's Name],
I hope you're settling in well after your move back to town! I wanted to reach out to you because I think I have a great job opportunity for you. I know you've worked in the retail industry before, but have you ever considered working in an office environment? I think you'd be a perfect fit for a job opening as an assistant to my boss, Mrs. Elizabeth Jackson.
In this role, you would be responsible for answering phones, scheduling appointments, maintaining patient records, handling data entry, and identifying mistakes on reports. I know it may seem like a bit of a change from your previous experience, but trust me, you have the skills required for this job.
First of all, your exceptional interpersonal communication skills would be a huge asset in this role. The most important part of the job is receiving patients and answering phones, and your ability to connect with people and make them feel comfortable would be invaluable. Not to mention, your punctuality and strong attention to grammar and spelling would be greatly appreciated in maintaining accurate records and documents.
Moreover, your dependability and outstanding organizational capabilities are exactly what Mrs. Jackson is looking for in an assistant. She herself started out in the retail industry before launching Jackson Transcription Services, so she would definitely appreciate your background and understand the value you would bring to the table.
I truly believe that this job would be a perfect fit for you, and I hope you seriously consider joining our team. It would not only benefit you by providing a stable and fulfilling job, but it would also be a mutually beneficial relationship for both you and Mrs. Jackson. Let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything else I can do to help!
Best regards,
[Your Name]