Can you check if the following sentences are correct and tell me how I can make them less wordy?
1) She tripped over a Christmas light wire and sprained her ankle
2) There was a police car waiting for him for a traffic offence. (OR: He was booked for speeding)
3)A few weeks ago my cousins had an incredible sequence of accidents.
He wanted to make a cake for his mother but he couldn't reach the eggs and the flour which were in an upper shelf of his kitchen cupboard.
4) So he got on to a chair but he suddenly fell off and knocked over the eggs, some of which broke on his head.
5) A glass bottle of oil that was near the eggs (a nearby oil bottle) fell down too and knocked over his mobile phone that completely smashed with the bottle, which spread oil all over the floor.
6)Once the thieves jumped through the window of my house. They were walking across the room, when one of them stepped into (or tripped over) the carpet, hurt the TV and broke it.


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asked by Franco
  1. 1 is good.

    2.2) There was a police car waiting for him for a traffic offence. (OR: He was booked for speeding)
    The police booked him for speeding....

    Start with the fact that eggs would never be on the top shelf of a cabinet!!! They are kept in the refrigerator. NOW, Start with the sentence, My cousin learned how NOT to bake a cake last week. When he reached for the flour on the top shelf, .....

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