this is an intro for an argumentative essay, the thesis for the essay is supposed to be that empires are bad..i need help in bringing that out better ( will be forever happy if it rewritten)
empires are needed and inevitable. These people would be considered ultra-nationalist. Others believe that empires are dangerous and cause many unnecessary wars. These people are deemed internationalist as they are trying to promote global peace. Clearly, the ultra-nationalism of building an empire is wrong and should be avoided.
I don't understand.
Why is your first sentence favorable to empires when your thesis states the opposite?
Start over again. Perhaps your first sentence could be something like: Empires are dangerous and cause many unnecessary wars.
for the essay we got a source we were supposed to talk about the good and bad points for building empires and then pick a side
In order to bring out the argument that empires are bad and further strengthen your thesis, you could reframe the introduction as follows:
Empires: A Menace to Global Harmony
There are those who argue that empires are not only necessary but also an inevitable part of human existence. Labeling themselves as ultra-nationalists, they assert the supremacy and superiority of their own nation above others. On the other hand, there exists a contrasting group who firmly believe that empires are perilous, often instigating unnecessary conflicts. These individuals identify as internationalists, tirelessly advocating for global peace. It is undeniable that the ultra-nationalistic pursuit of building an empire is inherently flawed and must be conscientiously avoided if we aim for a harmonious world.