I'm suppose to write an essay on the play Hamlet which connects one of the themes to a character in the play.
This is my thesis,
Ophelia, Hamlet's ex lover, is one of the main characters in the play Hamlet which re-enforces the theme that women were weakminded. Throughout the play, she allows herself to be controlled by the men in her life and in her last act of weakness she goes insane and commits suicide.
any suggestions to make it better? Should I be more specific and name the men in her life? I'm also still deciding whether i shouldn't include " and in her last act...." Any help would be appreciated, thanks
You have two sentences here.
How about a much shorter thesis:
Ophelia reinforces the theme that women were weakminded and controlled by men.
Your thesis statement is a good starting point, but here are a few suggestions that might help improve it:
1. Be more specific: Instead of stating that Ophelia allows herself to be controlled by "the men in her life," you can mention the specific male characters who play a significant role in her story. This not only adds clarity but also highlights the complexity of the relationships she has with these characters.
2. Focus on her vulnerability: Rather than directly stating that women were weak-minded, consider focusing on Ophelia's vulnerability as a character. Highlight instances where she is manipulated or influenced by those around her, leading to her tragic downfall.
3. Consider omitting the reference to her last act: While Ophelia's descent into madness and suicide is indeed a significant event, it might be more effective to keep the focus on her vulnerability and how it connects to the theme of women's experiences in the play. This allows for a more nuanced analysis of her character and the overall theme.
With these suggestions in mind, here's a revised version of your thesis statement:
"Ophelia, Hamlet's ex-lover, is a central character in Shakespeare's play Hamlet, exemplifying the profound vulnerability and susceptibility experienced by women in the play. Through her relationships with key male characters such as Hamlet, Polonius, and Laertes, Ophelia's story highlights the tragic consequences of her reliance on others, ultimately shedding light on the theme of women's vulnerability in the play."
Remember, a thesis statement is meant to provide an overview of your main argument and set the tone for your essay. Make sure to support your thesis with evidence from the play and engage in a detailed analysis of both Ophelia's character and the theme you have chosen.