Here is my intro (that bobpursley checked yesterday), and my first body paragraph (that needs to be checked now)
:
What is wisdom? Is it in the stories that Grandfather told me, or is it in what I achieved from schooling? The reality is, wisdom is not learned in school; wisdom is accomplished through countless years of experience. The dictionary informs us that wisdom is knowledge of what is true. To some people knowing their self well is wisdom. Still, to many others, just being happy and healthy is complete wisdom. Now, how do we know what wisdom really is? To be very honest, wisdom can mean one thing to a person, and something completely opposite to another. Being knowledgeable, being happy, and knowing one's own self are all aspects of wisdom.
There are many people out there who believe that true wisdom is knowledge; the more knowledgeable a person, the more wise he or she is. It is understandable why people agree with this because knowledge and wisdom have a very close web definition; knowledge is acquaintance with facts or truth, wisdom is knowledge of what is true or right. However, this can easily be compared with the people who believe just the opposite, that wisdom and knowledge are not related. There is a famous quote that says, “Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” With this quote, and the above examples, one can decide on which meaning of wisdom is true for them.
many people out there is overused. Change it.
very close web definition? You have to be kidding...is a web definition something to be revered? Drop the web word. The 'wisdom is knowledge of what is true and right'. Well, in college, they will make you eat those particular words. Ordinary folks are dying in Iran over what is true and right, because they have a different view from the conservatives. "however, this can easily.."...why not just say" A comparision of this with the belief that..?
The last sentence is wimpy. You are supposed to be leading us somewhere with a discovery of what wisdom is, in the last sentence you tell us we can decide for oursleves, it doesn't matter. YOu ought to stick your neck out here, and defend it.
I am really wondering if you are going somewhere, you certainly are wavering from your thesis.
ahhh fine. ok. i will TRY to fix the mistakes you pointed out.
thank you
The introduction and first body paragraph seem well-written and clear. The introduction effectively poses the question of what wisdom is and provides two potential perspectives - through the stories of a Grandfather or through schooling. It also points out that wisdom is not learned in school but through experience. The definition of wisdom from the dictionary is mentioned, along with different interpretations of what wisdom could mean to different people.
The first body paragraph explores the belief that true wisdom is knowledge. It acknowledges the close relationship between knowledge and wisdom and presents an argument that the more knowledgeable a person is, the wiser they are considered to be. The quote mentioned afterward emphasizes the distinction between knowledge and wisdom, suggesting that knowledge helps in making a living while wisdom helps in making a life. This paragraph effectively presents both sides of the argument and invites the reader to decide which meaning of wisdom resonates with them.
Overall, both the introduction and first body paragraph provide a strong foundation for discussing the concept of wisdom.