I have to write a family story in the form of a parable. I'm pretty sure there are some revisions to be made but not sure where. The first sentence doesn't seem right/complete
"Give what you have, not what you want in the future"
My mother traveling from her home to her mothers home in Detroit.
Upon getting to Detroit she gets word from a local resident, that the city was damaged terribly by a huge storm. The local also adds that it turns out everyone was able to get out before the storm destroyed the place. And that they were headed the opposite direction to look for shelter. Upon reaching their destination, the people are shocked to see that the shelter is only really able to support a certain number of people and not one person more. So the people of Detroit decide that they should just give up and go back home and live in a disastrous area rather than be over-crowded. Upon hearing this my mother tells everyone that they can probably take live with her brother in his home. But after reaching her brothers home she realized that her brother would never allow this. After learning this, the crowd gets angry and attacks my mother and takes over her home.
"Give what you have, not what you want in the future" I have no idea what this means. I think it's the second part that makes for confusion since there's no subject or verb after the comma.
My mother traveling from her home to her mothers home in Detroit. <~~This is not a complete sentence.
Upon getting to Detroit she gets word from a local resident,<~~delete comma that the city was damaged terribly by a huge storm. The local also adds that it turns out<~~delete "it turns out" -- unnecessary verbiage everyone was able to get out before the storm destroyed the place. And that they were headed the opposite direction to look for shelter.<~~also not a complete sentence Upon reaching their destination, the people are shocked to see that the shelter is only really able to support a certain number of people and not one person more. So the people of Detroit decide that they should just give up and go back home and live in a disastrous area rather than be over-crowded. Upon hearing this<~~add comma; what is "this"? my mother tells everyone that they can probably take live<~~what? with her brother in his home. But after reaching her brothers<~~possessive home<~~add comma she realized that her brother would never allow this<~~what is "this"?. After learning this,<~~what is "this"? the crowd gets angry and attacks my mother and takes over her home. <~~revise to get rid of extra instance of "and"
Here's a revised version of your story:
"In the town of Detroit, there lived a woman named Sarah. One day, Sarah received news that a devastating storm had struck the city, leaving it in ruins. People were forced to flee their homes and seek shelter elsewhere.
Upon arriving in Detroit, Sarah encountered a local resident who shared the harrowing story of the storm's destruction. The resident also revealed that everyone had managed to escape the city before the storm hit. However, their search for shelter in nearby areas had proven futile due to overcrowding.
Disturbed by this information, the people of Detroit were left with a difficult decision – to return to their devastated homes or continue their search for shelter. In a moment of compassion, Sarah spoke up and offered to welcome the crowd into her brother's home.
Hopeful and relieved, the people followed Sarah to her brother's house. However, upon arriving, they discovered that Sarah's brother was not open to the idea of hosting so many people. Disheartened, the crowd grew frustrated and angry at the lack of support.
Without realizing the extent of their actions, the angry crowd turned against Sarah. Driven by their desperation, they forcefully took over her home, leaving Sarah feeling betrayed and defeated.
From this parable, we learn the importance of not only offering help but also understanding the limitations of our own resources. Sarah's initial intention to provide shelter was admirable, but without considering her brother's consent, the situation escalated into a disastrous turn of events.
In this story, the first sentence could be revised as follows: "Sarah learned a valuable lesson about the importance of giving what you have, rather than holding onto what you desire in the future." This revision provides a clearer and more complete introduction to the parable's theme."