What about this.
This is a story of a middle class English family that finds themselves in a situation that is far above what they can afford. The family has a large home, gardener, expensive furniture, and the best clothes. Athough they seen to have the life of luxury this is not enough to satisfy them. which makes it very difficult to have much sympathy for the mother. I find it very entertaining that D.H. Lawrence uses an inanimate object to symbolize a supernatural existence. He does so in a very sneaky way which I feel if you are a big fan of the
genre you will be begging for more.
The oldest child, Paul, bears witness to the misfortunes of his parents, but becomes determined to help his mother out of the dilemma that she ultimately finds herself in, by being 'lucky.' During an afternoon walk with her, she has made an unknown, fatal decision to set in motion, a disturbing series of events that will culminate in tragedy, by the mere mention to Paul that his father is 'not lucky.' Determined to win the love and affection that is absent from the demeanor of his mother, the wheels begin to turn like gears grinding with outbursts and spurts before achieving their end result. I was never a huge fan of D.H. Lawrence but after I read this interesting tale I immediately fell in love with his writing style and the different themes he decides to incorporate into his work. I give this book an 8 out of 10 stars. You won't be disappointed.
"family that finds themselves"
You need to work on agreement here. You have "family" (s.) and "finds" (also s.), but then you write "themselves" (pl.) -- how will you correct this phrasing?
"I find it very entertaining<~~You need to explain what's entertaining about this and why you find it so. that D.H. Lawrence uses an inanimate object to symbolize a supernatural existence. He does so in a very sneaky way<~~You need to explain what "sneaky" means and why you find it so. which I feel if you<~~Get rid of "you" and smooth out this phrasing; it's very awkward. are a big fan of the genre you will be begging for more."
In the second paragraph, you need to explain what the "dilemma" is.
You need to explain what the "end result" is.
You have far too many vague references in here. You are assuming that whoever reads your writing has also read the story and will automatically understand what you're referring to throughout. This is a very poor way to write. You should always write as if the reader hasn't read what you read and are referring to. You should always explain the comments you make.