King Duncan, King Hamlet, Malcolm and Fortinbras are all minor characters who play a big role in each tragedy, the kings are both murdered and the young men are both fighting for their father’s lands in the end.

Please check my thesis!!!

"King Duncan, King Hamlet, Malcolm and Fortinbras are all minor characters who play a big role in each tragedy, the kings are both murdered and the young men are both fighting for their father’s lands in the end."

There are TWO sentences here, not just one, but if you put a semicolon (;) after "tragedy" you'll solve the run-on problem.

Additionally, it would be a good idea to come up with better wording than "big role" -- for one thing, the term should be plural since you are referring to four characters. Four characters do not share one role! But more important, "big role" is more like primer language. What do you mean by "big role"?

??

Well both of the kings start off the main plot of the play, Malcolm and Fortibras end the plays.

I am doing four different characters by comparing and contrasting. First are the kings who die in Shakespares plays Hamlet and The tragedy of MacBeth; King Duncan and King Hamlet.

Malcolm is the son of King Duncan and Fortinbras is the son of the king in Norway trying to gain back his father's lands like Malcolm. But when Hamlet is dying Hamlet suggests Fortinbras get the throne.

I know who they all are, but I'm concerned with the phrasing "big role" -- how can you make that phrasing worthy of someone in English IV rather than in grade 5?

crucial roles <~~ maybe??

??

essential roles

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Come on, be nice. She hates Shakespeare.

That may be, but it would be nice if she got a good grade on the paper, right? And this is one issue I pounded on when I was teaching freshman comp in college -- expand the vocabulary so you come off at least sounding like someone who isn't in grade school anymore!! Some kids get it right away; others have to work at it. Either way, I'd like to help her get a good grade on the paper.

=)

PS - Are Summer, Melissa, and Dylan all one person? Or are you sharing one computer? Same IP address for all three!!

Dylan and Summer are at summer school. Melissa is at summer school with us. we're all working in the computer lab. I told Melissa about this site since we're doing a paper due in a few hours. we're different people. promise!!

We are indeed different people who are in summer school together trying to figure out Shakespeare, well me for the most part, Summer gets it and is trying to help me but I still don't understand so she referred me here. I'd like to get help for the subject as Thesis writing is also not my best subject! :-D

Good for you all for tackling Shakespeare in summertime -- when you don't have several other subject going on at once!

One way to deal with Shakespeare is via the myriad of websites out there that can be helpful -- in a variety of ways!

http://shakespeare.palomar.edu/

http://nfs.sparknotes.com/

http://shakespeare.mit.edu/works.html

http://www.shakespeare.com/

http://www.shakespeare-online.com/

http://www.bardweb.net/

http://absoluteshakespeare.com/index.htm

Another is to find some of the parallel or side-by-side editions, so you see the original Shakespeare on one page and its modern version on the facing page. I don't believe this is cheating or watering down, as long as you use the modern side to help you understand the Shakespearean side!

http://www.amazon.com/Romeo-Juliet-Shakespeare-Made-Parallel/dp/0748702555/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-0145988-6292068?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1183041306&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Romeo-Juliet-Side-Sides/dp/1580495176/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/002-0145988-6292068?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1183041306&sr=1-3

I gave you thes links from Amazon, but the books are available all over the place -- Borders, Barnes and Noble, etc.

Keep on asking questions!!

=)

Your thesis statement can definitely be improved. Here is a revised version:

"In the tragedies of Macbeth and Hamlet, the minor characters King Duncan, King Hamlet, Malcolm, and Fortinbras all play essential roles. Both kings are murdered, and both young men fight to regain their fathers' lands in the end."

This revised thesis statement clarifies that the minor characters have essential roles rather than just a "big role." It also specifies the names of the plays and adds more clarity to the comparison and contrast between the characters.