Your boss wants to send a brief email message welcoming employees recently transferred to your department from your Hong Kong branch. They all speak English, but your boss asks you to review his message for clarity. What would you suggest your boss change in the following email message, and why? Would you consider this message to be audience centered? Why or why not? Revise the email so that it follows effective communication guidelines.
"I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America."
After researching cultural differences between the United States and Hong Kong, what advice would you give your boss?
Objective:
Examine and demonstrate appropriate responses to key diversity issues in the workplace.
There are American expressions which are not in common usage; examples are ASAP and pleased as punch. I would also wonder about the use of "family" in a business situation and "sell you" could have various meanings. I think a less "folksy" approach would be more appropriate.
In addition to the excellent suggestions made by GuruBlue, you should get rid of "wanted to" at the very beginning. Simply say, "I welcome you ... "
Have you found the other folksy stuff in this so you can change them all?
??
Your boss wants to send a brief email message welcoming employees recently transferred to your department from your Hong Kong branch. They all speak English, but your boss asks you to review his message for clarity. What would you suggest your boss change in the following email message, and why? Would you consider this message to be audience centered? Why or why not? Revise the email so that it follows effective communication guidelines.
To revise the email message so that it follows effective communication guidelines, I would suggest the following changes:
"Dear team,
I wanted to take a moment to extend a warm welcome to all of you who have recently joined our department from our Hong Kong branch. It's wonderful to have you here with us in the United States. I'm really looking forward to meeting each one of you in person and building a strong working relationship.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or need assistance settling in. I am committed to ensuring that your transition is as smooth as possible, and I'm here to support you in any way I can.
Thank you once again for joining our team. I believe that our collective expertise and diverse backgrounds will contribute to our continued success.
Best regards,
[Your Name]"
In this revised email message, I have removed the informal language and expressions, such as "ASAP" and "pleased as punch." I also replaced the phrase "our little family" with "our department" to make it more appropriate for a business setting. Additionally, I clarified the intention of "selling you on America" to focus on building a strong working relationship instead.
This revised message is more audience-centered because it is clear, professional, and focused on welcoming the employees and supporting them during their transition. It avoids any potential confusion or misinterpretation caused by informal language and expressions.
As for cultural differences between the United States and Hong Kong, it would be helpful for your boss to be aware of the following advice:
1. Avoid using slang, idioms, or expressions that may not be familiar to non-native English speakers. This will prevent any confusion or misinterpretation.
2. Be mindful of the use of humor. Different cultures have different perceptions of humor, and what may be considered light-hearted banter in one culture can be seen as offensive in another.
3. Provide clear instructions and expectations. In some cultures, employees may be more accustomed to explicit directions and guidance, whereas others may rely on implicit communication. Being explicit can help avoid any potential misunderstandings.
4. Foster a supportive and inclusive environment. Encourage open dialogue and create opportunities for employees to share their experiences and ask questions. This will help promote understanding and appreciation for different perspectives.
By considering these cultural differences and following effective communication guidelines, your boss can ensure that the email message is well-received and promotes a positive and inclusive work environment.