Can anyone tell me if this sound ok?

I have to create an introduction and conclusion. Below is also my thesis statement. Anything you think I can add to it or make it sound more "attention getting"? Thanks for your help :o)

My Thesis statement
“While a smoking ban can have a negative effect on some businesses, smoking should be banned in public places because of health risks to non-smokers.”

My Introduction
Are you aware that smoking is a recognized cause of many diseases and cancers? This essay will argue why smoking should be banned from public places. A smoking ban may have a negative affect on some businesses, but that is a small price to pay for possibly saving someone’s life one day.

My Conclusion
In the hopes that one day hospitality workers will be accepting to the smoking ban law, there are many positives to the smoking ban. Many individuals are not tolerant of unwelcome smoke, and that as a collective whole, something can be done to control the issue. A smoking ban would greatly benefit most people, especially those who are non-smokers. A smoking ban would create a better environment and increase a person’s health. Strong research indicates smoking bans are a lifesaver.

Multiple post. Please refer to your later post.

Sra

Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and effectively convey your thesis statement. However, I can provide some suggestions to make them more attention-getting and impactful.

Introduction:
"Imagine walking into a public place, only to be greeted by the suffocating fumes of secondhand smoke. Did you know that this seemingly harmless exposure can have devastating effects on your health? This essay aims to shed light on the urgent need for a smoking ban in public places, ultimately saving lives and safeguarding the well-being of non-smokers."

In this revised introduction, I have incorporated a strong opening sentence that paints a vivid picture and immediately grabs the reader's attention. Additionally, I emphasized the importance of the topic and its potential consequences, thereby making the call for a smoking ban even more urgent.

Conclusion:
"As we envision a future where hospitality workers breathe fresh air and non-smokers are no longer subjected to the hazards of secondhand smoke, the benefits of a smoking ban become increasingly evident. By taking collective action against this pervasive issue, we have the power to create a healthier, more inclusive environment for all. Let us embrace the overwhelming evidence that smoking bans are, without a doubt, life-saving measures, paving the way for a brighter and smoke-free future."

Here, I have rephrased your closing statements to create a sense of hope and motivation, appealing to the reader's desire for a healthier society. By emphasizing the power of collective action and employing imagery of a "smoke-free future," the conclusion becomes more compelling and leaves a lasting impression.

Remember, the goal of an attention-getting introduction is to captivate the reader's interest, while the conclusion should leave a lasting impact and reinforce the main points of your argument.