I have to write two memos for class. I did one but need help on the other one. Can you read mine and tell me if it's okay, den give me some ideas on how i should write my second.
Memo 1: Your school is hosting a picnic and you would like to supply the soda because you can buy cans for 25cents each and sell them at the picnic for 50 cents. Write a memo to an adult relative or mentor requesting a loan of $100.
Mr. Sullivan
Re: school
Mr. Sullivan, our school is hosting a picnic June 1, 2007. I see this as an opportunity to add to my college fund. My idea is to purchase soda at Kamlinks for 25 cents each and then resell them at the picnic for 50 cents. The only problem is that I do not have access to $100.00 for the purchase of 400 cans of soda. My friend's father is willing to transport them to the picnic and I will be able to keep them cool in the ice chests that the school will provide. If you would lend me the $100.00, I will pay you back $120.00. Please contact me at 555-1234 at your earliest convenience.
Memo 2: You have a part-time job but would like to take a day off to attend a track meet. Write a memo to your boss asking permission to miss one day of work.
Mr. Sullivan
Re: school picnic
Mr. Sullivan, our school is hosting a picnic June 1, 2007. I see this as an opportunity to add to my college fund. My idea is to purchase soda at Kamlinks for 25 cents each and then resell them at the picnic for 50 cents. The only problem is that I do not have access to $100.00 for the purchase of 400 cans of soda. My friend's father is willing to transport them to the picnic and I will be able to keep them cool in the ice chests that the school will provide. If you would lend me the $100.00, I will pay you back $120.00. Please contact me at 555-1234 at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your consideration.
The school might provide the chests, but who will furnish or pay for the ice? Your coverage of details can be more effective in convincing the lender of the success of the sale.
If you have done anything like this previously, noting the success of the previous situation(s) would be helpful. You also need to identify who you are.
Memo 2: You have a part-time job but would like to take a day off to attend a track meet. Write a memo to your boss asking permission to miss one day of work.
Why do you want to attend the track meet? Are you a participant? Will you be helping to run the meet? Is a close friend/relative participating in the meet?
How far in advance are you in asking for this time off? Will you be making up for the time missed in any way? Possibly you could switch work times with another part-time worker.
Do you have a long record of being a good worker for this boss? Don't forget to thank your boss in advance.
I hope these questions and suggestions will help you to develop a good memo. Thanks for asking.
Ms. Barns my community is having a track meet starting the first of next week in which I would like to attend. They asked to me to be a part of this event in preparation and afterward cleanup. Also my cousin is participating in this event. I asked Ryan to switch work times with me in order for me to attend this event. He had no problem. If it is okay with you, I would like to miss one day of work. With my long record of being a good worker I see no problem with my consideration. Thanks in advance..
Ms. Barns:
My community is having a track meet starting the first of next week, which I would like to attend. They<~~who are "they"?? asked to me to be a part of this event in preparation and clean-up afterward. Also my cousin is participating in this event. I asked Ryan to switch work times with me in order for me to attend this eventThe phrase "this event" is repeated too many times; strive for variety. He had no problem. If it is okay with you, I would like to miss one day of work. With my long record of being a good worker<~~add comma I hope you will see no problem with my request. Thanks in advance.. <~~Only one period needed!
Memo 1:
Overall, your memo is clear and effectively conveys your request for a loan to purchase soda for the school picnic. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:
1. Include a subject line: Start your memo with a subject line that clearly states the purpose of the memo, such as "Request for Loan for School Picnic Soda Supplies."
2. Address the recipient by their proper title and name: Instead of just saying "Mr. Sullivan," use the appropriate salutation such as "Dear Mr. Sullivan."
3. Provide a brief introduction: Begin the memo by briefly explaining your reason for writing, such as "I am writing to request your assistance in funding a business opportunity for our school picnic."
4. Explain the details of your plan: Elaborate on your idea to buy soda at a lower price and resell it at the picnic. This demonstrates your business acumen and potential for profit.
5. Specify the loan amount and terms: Clearly state the exact amount you need to borrow and propose a concrete plan for repayment. For example, "I kindly ask for a loan of $100.00, which I promise to repay in full by [specific date] along with an additional $20.00 as interest."
6. Conclude politely and provide contact information: End the memo with a polite closing and include your contact information for the recipient to reach you directly.
Memo 2:
To further improve your memo requesting time off from work for a track meet, consider the following suggestions:
1. Include a subject line: Begin your memo with a subject line that captures the purpose of the memo, such as "Request for One Day's Leave to Attend Track Meet."
2. Address the recipient by their proper title and name: Use the appropriate salutation, such as "Dear Ms. Barns."
3. Start with a clear statement of your request: Begin the memo by stating the purpose of the memo upfront, such as "I am writing to request permission to miss one day of work in order to attend a track meet."
4. Explain the significance and involvement in the track meet: Clearly state why you want to attend the track meet and the role you will play. Mention if you are a participant, assisting in the event, or have a close relative participating.
5. Provide details on rescheduling or making up for missed work: If possible, propose alternatives for covering your absence, such as swapping shifts with a coworker or making up the missed hours on another day.
6. Emphasize your dedication and work record: Mention your history of being a reliable and dedicated worker to highlight your commitment to your job.
7. Express gratitude in advance: End the memo with a polite closing that expresses your gratitude for considering your request and a sincere thank you.
Remember to proofread your memo for grammar and clarity before sending it.