Hello, I've always struggled with making a strong thesis in the start of my paragraph.
I had two claims : 1. Both Christianity and Buddhism became widespread using missionary and conquests.
2. Christianity and Buddhism both became widespread because religion made lower class feel equal.
And I just don't know how to put those two claims in to a thesis, I've been struggling on this for a while.
I like your first statement better.
Missionaries and conquests spread both Christianity and Buddhism.
I would reword it..
Christianity and Buddhism were spread by missionaries and conquests.
Crafting a strong thesis statement is indeed crucial for a well-structured paragraph or essay. To incorporate your two claims into a clear thesis statement, you need to synthesize your ideas and provide a concise overview of the main argument. Here's an example of how you can refine your thesis statement:
"Both Christianity and Buddhism gained widespread acceptance through the combination of evangelism and conquest, while also providing a religious platform that fostered a sense of equality among the lower classes."
Let's break down the elements of this thesis statement:
1. Subject: "Both Christianity and Buddhism"
- Clearly states the two religions you will be discussing.
2. Verb: "gained widespread acceptance"
- Expresses that both religions became popular.
3. First claim: "through the combination of evangelism and conquest"
- Addresses your initial claim about the means through which these religions spread.
4. Second claim: "while also providing a religious platform that fostered a sense of equality among the lower classes"
- Supports your second claim regarding the impact of religion on social equality.
By combining both claims into a single thesis statement, you are able to provide a concise and focused overview of your main argument, while setting the direction for the subsequent paragraphs of your essay.