For my english class we have to write a one page essay about What is the most significant gift that we wish to give ourself this semester. I posted what I had yesterday and you responded back. I took your advice and changed my entire paper. I was wondering if it's better, what I should add or take out, and any grammar mistakes. I really appreciate your time and help.
What is the most significant gift that you wish to give yourself this semester?
The most significant gift that I wish to give myself this semester would be better writing skills because they will last forever. I have always been a pretty good writer, but my writing always seems to lack that wow factor. There is always room for improving because writing never goes away. Over the course of the semester, I want to learn how to make my writings the best that they can be. To help me reach my expectations I need to start on the paper the day that it's assigned instead of waiting until the night before it's due. I tend to sit at my computer and type whatever comes to my mind without doing a rough copy ahead of time. I have always had a problem with long sentences and using big words that people don't understand. To make my writings sound better I need to break my thoughts into shorter sentences so what I'm trying to say is clearly understood by the reader. Learning to use words that everyone understands will be a challenge but I don't want the reader to be distracted and lose interest in the rest of my writing. In my 1180 English class I lost most of my points for grammar. Learning different ways to improve my grammar will definitely make my writings sound a lot of better. I'm very determined to put everything that I have into this gift that I want to give myself so I can always say “ I can write like that”.
instead of rough copy say rough draft. Instead of alot of take out the of and just say alot better. Your paragraph is excellent and I may not be a teacher but I have a 3.75 GPA and I know alot about writing I write every single day practicly. If I was a teacher I would give your paragraph an A+
I like your improved essay! Fantastic!!
I'd use the word "writing" instead of "writings," though.
Start in by learning the basic comma uses -- and apply them to this paragraph!
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
[The Index at this website is fantastic; you should be able to find all grammar and writing topics you need help with.]
Read your paper aloud to someone -- or have that person read it aloud to you. You'll hear where you need to make corrections -- where the reader stumbles and has to reread anything.
Please, Alex -- it's "a lot" (not "alot").
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/plague.htm
See #20.
oh sorry for the mistake "my bad"
No problem. The point is to learn new things!!
It's great to hear that you took my advice and revised your paper! Let's take a look at your revised version and provide some feedback.
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The most significant gift that I wish to give myself this semester is better writing skills because they will last forever. I have always been a decent writer, but my writing always seems to lack that "wow" factor. There is always room for improvement because writing never goes away.
Over the course of the semester, I want to learn how to make my writing the best it can be. To help me achieve this, I need to start working on my papers the day they are assigned instead of waiting until the night before they are due. I tend to sit at my computer and type whatever comes to my mind without writing a rough draft beforehand.
I have always struggled with long sentences and using complex words that many people don't understand. To enhance the quality of my writing, I need to break my thoughts into shorter sentences in order to ensure clarity for the reader. It will be a challenge to learn to use words that everyone understands, but I don't want the reader to become distracted or lose interest in the rest of my writing.
Furthermore, I faced grammar issues in my English class (1180), resulting in a loss of points. Therefore, I am committed to learning different techniques to improve my grammar and make my writing sound much better. I am determined to invest everything I have into this gift of improved writing skills so that I can confidently say, "I can write like that."
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Overall, your revised paper is much stronger and more focused. You have clearly stated your desire to improve your writing skills, and you provided some specific ways in which you plan to achieve this goal.
Here are a few suggestions for further improvement:
1. Expand on why better writing skills are important to you. How will they benefit you in the long run? This will add depth and personal connection to your essay.
2. Consider providing examples or specific instances where you felt your writing lacked that "wow" factor. This can help the reader understand your concerns and provide context for your goals.
3. Review your grammar and sentence structure. While there are minor grammatical errors in your revised paper, it is important to proofread carefully to ensure a polished final product.
Additionally, it's a good idea to have someone else (such as a classmate or teacher) review your essay to provide further feedback. They can catch any mistakes or suggest areas for improvement that you may have missed.
Good luck with your essay, and keep up the great work! Remember, practice and continuous improvement are key to becoming a better writer.