I have to write a essay and I don't know how to lengthen the rough draft could someone please give me tips?
Here's my rough draft
Comparison-and-Contrast Essay
The Story-Teller and The Drummer Boy of Shiloh
Comparison and Contrast means to tell the differences and similarities between two things. I have been told to compare and contrast two of the stories i’ve read, So i’ve chosen The Story-Teller and The Drummer Boy of Shiloh.
The Drummer Boy of Shiloh is about a child, who is in fear of the battle he has to participate in because he has no weapon to defend himself from the gun fires of war. The Story-Teller is about a bachelor who has to deal with a aunt who can’t get her children to be quiet, so the bachelor tells the children a story which occupies them until the train ride is over.
They are both obviously written by different people. The Drummer Boy of Shiloh was written by Ray Bradbury and The Story-Teller is written by Saki. Both stories are very well written and I personally like these stories. They both relate to the “Big Question” can all conflicts be resolved. They have the basics; A main character, a setting, turning point, etc..
They have some kind of conflict in them. In the Story-Teller; The bachelor has a conflict with the Aunt who can’t get her children to quiet down, and in the Drummer Boy of Shiloh; Joby is in a conflict with fear itself as the battle of Shiloh draws near.
Both stories have different characters, settings, scenes, plots, etc. Both stories are also different in the way they show the “Big Question”, since their plots are different.
The Story-Teller is a fiction and the Drummer boy of Shiloh is a non-fiction. The Drummer Boy of Shiloh is based off of John Clem; Which is the story of a young drummer boy in the Civil war who was famous for being the youngest non-commissioned officer in army history. He’s also known for his bravery on the battlefield.
In conclusion, Both are different and alike in their own unique ways, and are well-written stories.
Also here's the rubric, If someone could tell me if mine meets the requirements that would be very helpful~.
The main idea or purpose is clearly stated. The response is fully relevant. The response strongly supports the main idea or purpose.
There is a clear and effective organizational structure. The introduction and conclusion are effective. Ideas are organized logically.
There is a clear, natural voice that fully engages the reader.
The vocabulary is clearly appropriate for the audience and purpose. Words are used effectively. Writing is rich with a variety of academic and domain-specific words.
Sentence structure is varied. Sentences flow smoothly. A variety of transitions is used.
If you need to lengthen your rough draft for your essay, there are a few tips you can follow:
1. Elaborate on your points: Look at each paragraph and expand on the ideas presented. For example, in your rough draft, you mention that both stories relate to the "Big Question" of whether conflicts can be resolved. In your essay, you could delve deeper into this idea by discussing how each story explores this question and provide specific examples from the texts to support your analysis.
2. Provide more evidence: To support your comparisons and contrasts, find additional evidence from the stories. For instance, you mention that both stories have conflicts. In your essay, you could provide specific examples of the conflicts faced by the characters and explain how they contribute to the overall theme or message of the stories.
3. Consider the themes: Explore the themes of each story in more depth. In your draft, you touched on the idea of conflicts, but what are some other themes present in these stories? How do they differ or overlap? Analyzing the themes can help you expand your essay by providing more insights and perspectives.
4. Compare literary devices: Analyze the use of literary devices, such as symbolism, imagery, or foreshadowing, in both stories. How do these devices contribute to the overall meaning and impact of the narratives? Including a discussion of these literary elements can add depth to your essay.
5. Provide context and background information: You briefly mentioned that one story is fiction while the other is non-fiction. In your essay, you could provide more context about the authors, their writing styles, and the historical or social context in which the stories were written. This will not only help you lengthen your essay but also provide a richer understanding for your readers.
Remember, the goal is not just to add length to your essay, but to provide meaningful and insightful analysis. By expanding on your ideas, providing more evidence, exploring themes and literary devices, and providing context, you can strengthen your essay and make it more comprehensive and engaging for your readers.