Question

I'm trying to describe an event where my teacher won a special award during an assembly. I'm terrible at creative writing

Would this be a clean sentence:
Mrs. "Smith" headed to gym with a confused expression transformed immediately. Her eyes bulged, mouth gaped open and tears fled as the crowd erupted into tears.

Any suggestions on how I can clean this up.

Answer 1

She headed to gym? To gym class or to THE gym, as a room in the building, an assembly hall? Do tears flee? Does one erupt in tears or cheers? Tears are usually said to flow, not flee. You also need a comma before "and tears...". A clause is separated by a comma.