Revise the sentence below to make it more formal:
'You're going to get really fat if you eat at fast foods restaurants all the time.
My version:
If you continue eating at fast food restaurants all the time, the possibility of becoming obese will be very high.
Please check my work.
It's wordy, but it is definitely more formal!
How would you rewrite the sentence.
I'd just write this: You will become obese if you continue eating fast food.
Your revised sentence makes it more formal and less direct than the original one, so you did a good job in adjusting the tone. However, I would further revise the sentence to make it sound more concise and precise:
"Frequent consumption of meals from fast food restaurants may significantly increase the likelihood of obesity."
In this version, the word 'possibility' is replaced with 'likelihood' to convey a stronger sense of probability. Moreover, 'becoming obese will be very high' is changed to 'may significantly increase the likelihood of obesity' to emphasize the potential impact of fast food consumption on one's health.