School Food Gets Good…Real Good!
During the years food has been the same. Pizza, meatballs, pasta or even peanut butter and jelly. Don’t you want some good foods? Like real rice and beans, plantains etc.
Frozen food has taken over our food .
About 75% of kids in our school don’t eat lunch because it doesn’t taste as good as mom’s home made food.
“Our foods need to be better because we need to think more about our studies and not our food,” says one of our 9th grade students.
is ths good?
kk, there is no such word as "foods" its food, so instead of saying our foods need to be better, say our food needs to be better. also with the good foods, say good food, otherwise this is really vague so u just need to be more specific and u need to use more detail. although on the other hand, your concept was really clear, but i thnk that you should make it a little longer and specific
thanx i agree
"somebody" is right about the use of the word foods in what you've written. (See (Broken Link Removed) )
Is this going to be a speech? If not, you need to clean up the sentence-fragments.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm
Please re-post if you want further input.
=)
jose,
This sounds like a good beginning to an essay or speech. You will need to get more quotations and more information about what types of food are preferred by students (boiled eggplant, liver, pasta, etc.), what specific problems exist (overcooked, undercooked, no ketchup, etc., and some sort of solution (brownbag it, salad bar only,student cooks, etc.)
It seems like the writer wants to express their dissatisfaction with the food served at their school cafeteria. They believe that the current food options, mainly frozen and processed foods like pizza and meatballs, are not tasty or healthy enough. They mention that around 75% of students in their school choose not to eat lunch because it doesn't compare to the quality of home-cooked meals.
To address this issue, there are a few points that the writer can consider:
1. Be clear and specific: Instead of using the word "foods," it's more appropriate to use "food" in this context. The writer can specify what types of food they would like to see in the cafeteria, such as real rice and beans, plantains, or other home-style dishes.
2. Provide more details: The writer can give more examples or descriptions of the current food options and explain why they are not satisfactory. This could include mentioning the taste, quality, or lack of variety in the existing menu.
3. Offer solutions: It would be beneficial for the writer to propose possible solutions to improve the school food situation. This could involve advocating for the inclusion of healthier and more diverse options, cooking from scratch instead of relying on frozen foods, or involving students in the decision-making process.
4. Gather additional information: To strengthen the argument, the writer can gather quotes or opinions from other students who share similar thoughts about the cafeteria food. This will help provide more support for their claims.
Overall, the writer has made a good start by expressing their concerns about the quality and variety of school food. By incorporating the suggestions above, they can develop a more detailed and persuasive argument.