Yesterday, I asked the question about my thesis statement for Hamlet. Heres what I wrote:

Hi, I'm writing an essay on how Hamlet is a participant of hypocrisy. Can anyone help me write a thesis statement. My points are that his father tells him to avenge him, but Hamlet takes a long time to do it, how Hamlet says he loves Ophelia but is the cause of her death, and how Hamlet says he loves his mother but treats her badly.

I don't want to start out with a simple thesis saying "Hamlet is a participant of hypocrisy because..." Does anyone know how else I can start my thesis?
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You replied by saying:
You might try using his most famous speech "To be or not to be".... to be the avenger of my father or not, to be the protector of Ophelia or not, to be my mother's son, or not.

My question now is, is that all I would put? Would I not still need to list my three main points in there?

It might be that Hamlet was crazy, and trying to find exactly the dividing line between crazy and sane (to be, or not to be; to avenge or not; protect or not, be momma's son or not) It has always seemed to me that Hamlet walked this dividing line between sane and insane, and often had a foot and arm across the line.

ok, first of all, writing Hi as your intoductory word is an extremely bad move

Raj, You might start "Hamlet's most famous speech begins, "To be or not to be". This could be his statement of his entire "torn" personality. He questions" .... then state the three areas I suggested before. When you get it written, repost and I will be glad to help you further if you need it

why would you write how hi I'am a writing essay on hamlet that's like say to your friend I am going to talk about my dog and then talk about your dog!!

GuruBlue,
My teacher said that in my thesis I need to somehow state that Hamlet is a hypocrite, while also stating my three points.

I used your suggestion from yesterday, but I used it for my opening sentence, here's what I had:

"To be or not to be", to be the avenger of my father or not, to be the protector of Ophelia or not, o be my mother's son, or not. To turn my back on what I hold dear, or carry through with what I have been burdened by. In Hamlet, the main character is tortured by indecisions and constant shifts in decisions and beliefs. With these actions, he appears to be a hypocrite, and three examples can be cited to demonstrate this trait of his:..."

My teacher said that I only put that he "appears" to be a hypocrite, and that I need to clearly state if he is a hypocrite or not. Also, by putting "and three examples can be cited to demonstrate this trait of his", is a pretty weak thesis, she says.

P.S. And to the people who have said that I used "hi" in my opening, I suggest you read the first post.

I apologize for any confusion caused. Thank you for providing the additional information.

To address your teacher's feedback, one way you can revise your thesis statement to clearly state whether Hamlet is a hypocrite or not is by adding a definitive statement about his hypocrisy. Here's an example of how you could rephrase it:

"In Shakespeare's play Hamlet, the protagonist's constant indecisions and shifting beliefs exemplify a complex and contradictory nature. Hamlet's actions throughout the play suggest that he embodies the characteristic of hypocrisy, as he appears to hold contradictory values and fails to live up to his professed ideals of avenging his father, protecting Ophelia, and cherishing his mother."

By explicitly stating that Hamlet embodies the characteristic of hypocrisy, you address your teacher's concern about clearly stating if he is a hypocrite or not.

Regarding your teacher's feedback on the phrase "and three examples can be cited to demonstrate this trait," you can certainly strengthen your thesis statement by providing a more specific preview of your three main points. Here's an example of how you could revise that part:

"In Hamlet, the main character's contradictions and inconsistencies are evident in his actions towards avenging his father, his treatment of Ophelia, and his relationship with his mother. These examples of hypocrisy emphasize the complex nature of Hamlet's character and contribute to the overall thematic exploration of appearance versus reality in the play."

With this revision, you provide a clear indication of the three main points that will be discussed in the essay, which gives your thesis statement a stronger focus and direction.

Remember, a thesis statement should be clear, concise, and specific, while also introducing the main points that your essay will explore.