us government intro paragraph help

After the American Revolution, many people were grateful to their new profound independence, but some were unhappy with the government’s involvement. The United States has been run by two important constitutions. The Articles of Confederation, the first constitution, which became active on March 1, 1781, was established to weaken the government’s power and give it to the states. The second, The Constitution, replaced the Confederation in order to create a strong central government. Even though both were established by The Continental Congress, they were still very different documents. While the Confederation at first seemed the most logical way to rule the country, it ended up being unsuccessful. Then The Constitution steps in and tries to fix the chaos the confederation had caused and attempts to protect peoples’ freedom and their rights.


okay this is my introduction. my thesis is my last two sentences and i just don't feel satisfied with it. how do i make it sound better and more high level.

I think the topic of this essay under the question "meaning of the word"


After the American Revolution, many people were grateful to their new profound independence, but some were unhappy with the government’s involvement. The United States has been run by two important constitutions. The Articles of Confederation, the first constitution, which became active on March 1, 1781, was established to weaken the government’s power and give it to the states. The second, The Constitution, replaced the Confederation in order to create a strong central government. Even though both were established by The Continental Congress, they were still very different documents. While the Confederation at first seemed the most logical way to rule the country, it ended up being unsuccessful. Then The Constitution steps in and tries to fix the chaos the confederation had caused and attempts to protect peoples’ freedom and their rights.>>

It is hard to start on this...I am wondering if you have critiqued your own writing.
First sentence: "many people"...is nonsense. It is so vague as to be meaningless. Would ' After the American Revolution, a great debated ensued in the country reated to how to organize and run the new country, avoiding the experiences the citizens suffered under the Crown.
Was the government really established to weaken the government's power? I seriously doubt that was the purpose the framers had in mind. I suspect they were aiming to establish a confederation of interests.
I would reword the first part of the sentence that reads "The second, The Constitution, ...."
it is awkward. Note capitalized The Constitution is wrong. In the last three words, replace strong with stronger.
Why do you keep captalizing The, as in The Contintential Congress? That sentence is trite. What about "These framing documents for the new country were aimed to achieve differing concepts of the central government"
Now on the last two "thesis" sentences. I would combine these to form your thesis. As it stands now, you use words such as unsucessful, fix, chaos that should be defined or at least amplified. The last sentence, the first seven words seems to give some human quality to the constitution.
I am not certain of what your thesis is. I suggest spending some time and effort on that. Once done, the essay will fall together rapidly. As it is now, the entire thing is heading for many ideas.

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