I thought my grammar was excellent BUT now not so sure:(

why is and necessary in some sentences and not others?

Boys, girls, dogs, and cats ....

vs

Bright, friendly, compassionate ....

The first is a series of nouns.

The second is a set of compound adjectives.

I agree with you that your grammar is excellent.

when using series a Comma is used after each word regardless if it is a noun or adjective or a verb. Before the last word there should be the word "and".
therefore, the sentence should be as follows

Bright, friendly, and
compassionate.

The word "and" is a conjunction used to join words or groups of words together. Its use in sentences depends on the context and the relationship between the words or phrases it connects.

In your example, "Boys, girls, dogs, and cats," the use of "and" is necessary because it is used to connect a series of similar items. In this case, it is connecting the nouns "boys," "girls," "dogs," and "cats," indicating that all these items belong to the same category.

On the other hand, in the sentence "Bright, friendly, compassionate," the use of "and" is not necessary because there is no need to specify a relationship or connection between the adjectives. Each adjective describes the subject independently. Therefore, in this case, "and" is omitted.

To determine whether "and" is necessary in a sentence, consider the relationship between the words or phrases being connected. If they belong to the same category or need to be linked, "and" should be used. If there is no specific relationship or connection needed, "and" can be omitted.