Polonius is giving advice to his son, Laertes, about living life well among other people. Laertes was about to set off from Denmark to Paris for university.

http://www.sparknotes.com/shakespeare/hamlet/section3.rhtml

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I'm much better at science, basketball, etc. Could you help?

Explain thoroughly these words of advice Polonius offers Laertes:

"Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!" (1.3.59-81)

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Ah, Polonius, the wise and witty counselor! Let's break down his words of advice for Laertes, shall we? But first, let's not forget to add a touch of humor to make it more entertaining!

1. "Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act."
Translation: Think before you speak, and make sure your actions match your thoughts. In other words, don't blurt out every crazy idea that pops into your head, and don't do anything impulsive without considering the consequences. It's all about thinking things through, my friend, to avoid looking like a fool!

2. "Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar."
In simpler terms, be friendly and approachable, but never cross the line into vulgarity. You know, like don't go around telling silly jokes that only a clown could appreciate – unless, of course, you're a clown yourself!

3. "Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel..."
Hold on tight to the friends who have proven their loyalty. Make sure to nurture those friendships like you would hold on to a balloon animal made by the best clown in town! Loyalty is valuable, my friend.

4. "But do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade."
Don't waste your time and energy on every new friend that comes your way. Some people are like clowns without a sense of humor – they just can't keep up! Stick with the tried and true, my friend, and save your applause for those who deserve it.

5. "Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee."
Avoid getting involved in unnecessary conflicts, but if you find yourself in one, make sure your opponent knows you're not one to mess with. Roar like a lion, my friend – just make sure it's a roar that sends the clowns running!

6. "Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment."
Listen to everyone, but be cautious with your words. People love a good listener, my friend, so lend them your ear – just don't lend them your clown nose! And when it comes to judgments, use your clown-sized brain to make thoughtful decisions.

7. "Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy..."
Dress well, my friend, but remember not to go overboard with fancy attire. You don't want to look like a circus clown on holiday – keep it classy while still showing off your personality.

8. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."
Avoid borrowing or lending money, my friend, unless you want to end up like a clown without a rubber chicken. Money can strain even the strongest friendships, and it's no laughing matter!

9. "This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
The most important advice of them all, my friend. Be true to yourself, like a clown who never takes off his makeup, and you'll find that you can't be false to others. Authenticity is key!

Remember, my friend, life is a carnival – embrace the laughter, enjoy the ride, and don't forget to wear a red nose every now and then! Farewell, and may the humor be with you!

Certainly! Here is a thorough explanation of the advice that Polonius offers to Laertes:

1. "Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act": This means that Laertes should be careful with his words and actions. He should think before speaking and consider the consequences of his actions.

2. "Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar": Laertes should be friendly and approachable, but he should avoid being crude or inappropriate in his behavior.

3. "Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel": Laertes should value and hold onto his true friends, those who have proven their loyalty and trustworthiness. He should be deeply connected to them and maintain strong bonds.

4. "But do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade": Laertes should be cautious about forming close relationships with new and untested acquaintances. He should be selective and not waste his time on people who may not prove to be reliable or genuine.

5. "Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee": Laertes should avoid getting involved in unnecessary conflicts and confrontations. However, if he finds himself in a quarrel, he should handle it in such a way that others would think twice before provoking him again.

6. "Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice": Laertes should be a good listener and be receptive to others' opinions and ideas. However, he should be careful and selective about expressing his own thoughts or taking a stance on certain matters.

7. "Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment": Laertes should be open to accepting criticism from others, but he should also be cautious and not rush to judge others without proper consideration.

8. "Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not expressed in fancy; rich, not gaudy": Laertes should dress well, with clothes that are expensive and of good quality, but he should avoid excessive or showy attire. The way one dresses can convey a certain image, so he should strive for elegance and refinement.

9. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry": Laertes should avoid borrowing or lending money if possible. Loans can lead to complications and strain relationships, while excessive borrowing or lending can disrupt one's ability to manage their own finances effectively.

10. "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man": Laertes should prioritize being true to himself and his own values. By being genuine and authentic, he will naturally be honest and trustworthy in his interactions with others.

In summary, Polonius advises Laertes to think before speaking and acting, be cautious in choosing friends, avoid unnecessary conflicts, listen more than speaking, be open to criticism, dress appropriately, avoid borrowing or lending money, and above all, remain true to himself. This advice is meant to guide Laertes in living a virtuous and honorable life while navigating the complexities of social interactions.

Sure! I'd be happy to help you understand the advice that Polonius gives to his son, Laertes. Let's break it down step by step.

1. "Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act."

This means that you should think before you speak and think about the consequences before taking any action. It is important to consider the impact your words and actions might have on others.

2. "Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar."

Here, Polonius is advising Laertes to be friendly and approachable, but at the same time, he should avoid being crude or offensive in his behavior.

3. "Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade."

Polonius is telling Laertes to value and hold on to his true friends, those whom he has tested and found to be trustworthy. But he also warns against being too quick to trust and invest time in new acquaintances who might not prove to be reliable.

4. "Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee."

This means that Laertes should avoid getting into unnecessary conflicts or fights, but if he does find himself in one, he should make sure to show strength and determination so that others will think twice before opposing him.

5. "Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment."

This suggests that Laertes should be a good listener and be open to hearing what others have to say. However, he should be careful about speaking too much and sharing his opinions too freely. He should also be open to feedback and criticism from others, but he should reserve his judgment and not be too quick to pass judgment on others.

6. "Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy."

Polonius is advising Laertes to dress well and present himself in a respectable manner, but he should avoid being flashy or overly extravagant. He should aim for simplicity and elegance rather than gaudiness.

7. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."

This means that Laertes should avoid getting involved in borrowing or lending money. Polonius suggests that borrowing can lead to the loss of both the money and the relationships, and it can also make a person less diligent and careful with their own finances.

8. "This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."

Polonius emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself. Being honest and authentic with oneself will naturally lead to being honest and trustworthy with others.

Overall, Polonius is advising Laertes to be thoughtful and considerate in his words and actions, to choose his friends wisely, to avoid unnecessary conflicts, to be a good listener, to present himself well without being extravagant, to stay away from borrowing or lending money, and most importantly, to stay true to himself.