Can someone help me edit & revise this ex. paragraph. The directions were to revise & edit & identify strengths & weaknesses about this person and what this person included in their body paragraph. I could find very few mistakes but the major is including 3 QUOTES in 1 BODY PARAGRAPH. What else is wrong with this paragraph.

To make it easier I will number each sentence.

1.) Conveniences are provided for people with the use of identification chips.
2.) WIth identification chips, people can easily identify which person is who.
3.)Since this action can be automatic, it will allow people to save time.
4.)QUOTE> "Before, everything was done manually, the school's director Gary Stillan told.
5.) QUOTE> "Now it's automatic, and it saves us a lot of time" (Source A).
6.) The identification chips can also allow people to track down lost items or people.
7.) QUOTE> " Parents could use [the SafeTzone Locator, a watch-size tracker] to find their kids on an electronic map" (Source A).
8.) Due to the smallness of the chips, it allows them to save space and storage.
9.) QUOTE> "The Japanese company sent out a vial containing perhaps a hundred of [identification chips]. At first glance the vial looked empty, only on closer inspection was it apparent the chips were in there, off to one side, black and minute" (Source A).

There seem to be three topics in here ... related, but still three topics. I think a good strong thesis statement needs to be added -- or else #1 needs to be phrased more strongly.

Sentence 1 needs to be phrased more strongly.
Sentences 2 - 5 refer to one subtopic.
Sentences 6 - 7 refer to another subtopic.
Sentences 8 - 9 refer to the third subtopic.
There is no conclusion or transition to the next paragraph.

In addition, sentence 8 is phrased very badly!
"Due to" -- Start the sentence with "Because of" and that phrase will be smoother.
There is no antecedent for "it."
The antecedent for "them" seems to be "chips," but then implies that chips can actually do the human action of "save"!!
This is a sloppy, lazy sentence!

And yes -- 3 quotations in one paragraph? And not one quotation is FOLLOWED by any explanation.

Here is a revised and edited version of the paragraph:

1) Conveniences are provided for people through the use of identification chips.
2) With identification chips, it becomes easy to identify individuals.
3) This automated process saves people a significant amount of time.
4) According to the school's director, Gary Stillan, "Before, everything was done manually" (Source A).
5) He further added, "Now it's automatic, and it saves us a lot of time" (Source A).
6) In addition, identification chips can be used for tracking lost items or individuals.
7) As stated in Source A, "Parents could use the SafeTzone Locator, a watch-size tracker, to find their kids on an electronic map".
8) The small size of these chips enables efficient space and storage utilization.
9) Source A describes how "The Japanese company sent out a vial containing perhaps a hundred of [identification chips]. At first glance, the vial looked empty, only on closer inspection was it apparent the chips were in there, off to one side, black and minute".

Strengths:
- The paragraph clearly highlights the conveniences provided by identification chips.
- It includes relevant quotes from authoritative sources to support the claims.

Weaknesses:
- The paragraph does not have a clear topic sentence.
- There is an excessive use of quotes in a single paragraph, making it difficult for the reader to identify the author's voice.
- The paragraph lacks cohesion and could benefit from better organization and flow.

To further improve the paragraph:
- Start with a strong and clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
- Limit the use of quotes to one or two per paragraph to maintain a proper balance between the author's voice and external sources.
- Make sure to provide analysis and interpretation of the quotes to strengthen the argument and display critical thinking skills.
- Ensure a logical progression of ideas by using linking words or phrases to create cohesion between sentences.