My new question: (1) If you were Doreen would you say that yes my mom always thought I was thin and (2) she just said that remark about people calling me fat because she was mad" : (3) How would you interpret both conversations and would do you think Doreen misinterpreted the word “any more“? (4) Would you think “any more” means that Doreen’s mom did not think she was thin in the past. GIVE DETAILS

ALSO WHAT WOULD YOU TELL DOREEN TO GIVE HER CLOSURE ON THIS?

UPDATE:
Doreen:"Mom you always thought I was thin"
Mom: "Yes"
Doreen: "What about when we had another fight at home after the fight in the car and you said that I get mad if people call me fat"
Mom: "Who would ever call you fat. I only said that because I was mad"

STORY TO REFRESH MEMORY: OK yesterday Doreen’s mom (in her 80’s) and Doreen (in her 50’s) went to see “Mama Mia” which was wonderful. Any way as the movie started all of a sudden Doreen got very hot and extremely dizzy. (A few years ago Doreen got dizzy and she made the mistake of going to a few doctors, each one misdiagnosed why she was dizzy and with the medication each doctor gave Doreen, Doreen kept getting worse until she went to one doctor who cured Doreen).

Mom: “What is wrong”
Doreen: “I feel dizzy”
The dizziness stopped but Doreen was nervous a little bit throughout the movie. When the movie ended:

Mom: “Just wait until we get into the car I want to talk to you”
Doreen: “Well if we are going to have a fight I don’t want to hear it”
Mom: “Then take the bus”
But Doreen got into the car
Mom: “You have to stop drinking coffee”
Doreen: “I know I am going to stop”
(And Doreen thought that would be the end of the conversation - wrong)
Mom: “I know you drink coffee for weight loss. You don’t need to lose any more weight”
Doreen: “But I was always skinny”
Mom: “Yes but now you are even skinnier”

This got Doreen mad and they had some fight. When they came home her mom said nasty things to Doreen and Doreen said nasty things back to her mom.
Mom: “You need to gain weight”
Doreen: “No I don’t”
Mom: “It isn’t just the coffee but the way you eat”
Doreen: “I like salads“
Mom: “But when you order a salad they give you mostly lettuce and six strips of chicken you leave over two.”

When Doreen went on the computer she found out the reason she was getting dizzy and it was because of the herb she is taking but Doreen cannot tell her mom that because her mom is very opinionated.

THEN TODAY;
Doreen: “Mom do you want to know why I got mad yesterday it is because you made it sound like I wasn’t always thin”
Mom: “That is how you hear it”
Then about five minutes later they had a terrible fight because her mom started to rant and rave.
Doreen: “All I wanted was for you to answer that one question”
Mom: “OK yes you were fat before - how’s that” - her mom said this in a tone to get Doreen mad and upset.

To interpret the conversations and address Doreen's misinterpretation, let's break down the key points:

1. Doreen asked her mother if she always thought she was thin. Her mother responded with a simple "yes." This implies that her mother indeed thought Doreen was thin in the past.

2. Doreen then brings up the remark her mother made about people calling her fat, suggesting that her mother only said that because she was mad. Here, it seems like Doreen is questioning the validity of her mother's previous statement about her being thin due to this remark.

3. From the conversations, it appears that Doreen misinterpreted the phrase "any more" from her mother's comment. Doreen took it as her mother implying that she wasn't thin in the past. However, her mother's use of "any more" likely meant that Doreen doesn't need to lose any more weight because she was already thin before. So, the misinterpretation lies in Doreen thinking her mother was denying her being thin in the past when that might not be the case.

4. Considering the overall context and the fact that her mother affirmed Doreen's previous thinness, it is unlikely that "any more" implies her mother didn't think she was thin in the past. Instead, it suggests that her mother believes Doreen is already thin and doesn't need to lose more weight.

To provide closure to Doreen on this situation, here's what you could say:

"Doreen, it seems like there may have been some miscommunication between you and your mom. Based on the conversations, it's clear that your mother believed you were thin in the past when she said 'yes.' However, her comment about not needing to lose any more weight might have been misunderstood. Instead of implying she didn't think you were thin before, it likely meant she acknowledged your previous thinness and didn't want you to lose any more weight. This misinterpretation led to the argument yesterday.

To find closure, it might be helpful to have an open and calm conversation with your mom. Explain to her how her remarks made you feel and express that you value her opinion. Seek clarification and understanding from her perspective as well. Communication is key to resolving misunderstandings and finding common ground. Remember, it is important to approach this conversation with empathy and openness."

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