I would appreciate it if someone would be willing to look over my essay real quick. I just would like to know if I made any critical errors. Please do not correct them just point them out so I can fix it. Thank you very much.
General instructions from my teacher:
If you quote from or paraphrase an author, simply put that author’s name in parentheses after the sentence that contains the quotation or paraphrase.
Please emphasize the differences between the two authors in this essay. You may want to point out the similarity or similarities. However, the main focus of your essay will be on their differences.
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I have heard people wonder how parents can raise successful kids. What is it that parents can do to produce the next Einstein or Jordan? What is it the children have done to excel above all others in an activity? Is happiness derived from success or from enjoyment? This sums up the difference between Amy Chua’s article, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” and Hanna Rosin’s article, “Mother Inferior?”. This battle has been years in the making. This paper will look at the major differences between the two sides.
Ms. Chua argues that for anything to become fun for a child they must first become good at the task. She does not accept anything less then perfection from her daughters. This is the primary reason behind all her rules. Her children are not allowed to play sports, participate in plays, or anything else that is deemed fun. They must practice everything several hours a day to become proficient. By becoming good at a task the child will feel a sense of accomplishment. The child’s self confidence will grow as a result of the praise from adults and mentors. With self confidence high more success will be found by the child. This will all start to lead to a circle of success feeding from the confidence and confidence feeding off the success. With this combination of success and confidence the child will be happy.
Ms. Chua has outlined quite well that in regards to children; “it is crucial to override their preferences” (Amy Chua). In her opinion “children on their own never want to work” (Amy Chua). Therefore it falls on the parent to force the issue by any means available. She acknowledges that children will resist at first but stand firm in her belief that the circle will ease all tension. Respect and understanding of the parent will come with each successful step. Resentment replaced with enduring love which will be what leads to true happiness in life.
Upon further research it seems that while this has produced the desired results; it had caused a rift between Ms. Chua and her daughters. In a later interview with Ms. Chua she seems to slightly reverse course with her strict views. She still holds to the standards for her kids but has backed up some on the time spent in practice.
On the other side of this debate is Mrs. Rosin. Ms Rosin is a self described “weak-willed, pathetic Western parent that Ms. Chua describes” (Hanna Rosin). Mrs. Rosin believes that happiness is a formed as a result of talent with a desire to work. She is a supportive nurturing mother who will always point out the good in her children. Her idea is in contrast to Ms. Chua in many ways. She is as much a hands off parent as she can be. She allows her kids to explore the world as they see fit. She says “Children have to find happiness themselves” and that “Happiness is the great human quest” (Hanna Rosin).
Mrs. Rosin brings up many points of overbearing parents working to create the next prodigy but fail. She brings up cases of child prodigies who didn’t work out the way everyone thought. For example Andre Agassi and his autobiography which he states that he hates tennis “with a dark and secret passion, and always have”. She also uses the case of a sixteen year old girl who kills her mother who had “impossibly high standards”. In both these cases the case is made that success does not equal happiness. She wants the reader to understand that these two individuals had not been given the choice to go down any other path. The lack of being able to exercise their own free will led to them being unhappy in life.
Mrs. Rosin has not come out with another article to let the public know how her kids are doing. Weather she has introduced more structure and discipline or continued with her free roam style parenting. Without knowing how things have worked out will hinder an all out comparison between the two mothers.
Both Ms. Chua and Mrs. Rosin bring up valid points on the importance of parents being involved in their child’s life. They do not see eye to eye on how much involvement is needed to ensure a child grows into a happy contributing member of society. While one seems to favor a more strict regulated lifestyle the other prefers a a life of spontaneity and freedom. Nether acknowledge that there are very important similarities between them. The most important is that they both want what is best for their children. The second is that they both want their kids to be happy in life. These goals are what drive the way they live and the things that they do.
There is likely some sort of middle ground that can produce a successful child that the Chinese mother would want without many of the phycological issues the Western mother does not want. Children do need structure and discipline. They also need the freedom to make their own mistakes and views on the world. In the end all that matters is that the children grow up. Each parent will make their own mistakes while raising a child. We should focus on the children and their achievements not how bad parents can be.
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Again, thank you very much
Based on the general instructions from your teacher, it appears that you have not properly credited the quoted or paraphrased information from the authors. The instructions state that you should put the author's name in parentheses after the sentence that contains the quotation or paraphrase.
To fix this, you would need to go through your essay and identify the specific sentences or phrases where you have quoted or paraphrased Amy Chua's and Hanna Rosin's articles. After each quotation or paraphrase, you should insert the author's name in parentheses.
For example, in the paragraph where you discuss Amy Chua's views, you could include the author's name after the sentence: "Ms. Chua has outlined quite well that in regards to children; 'it is crucial to override their preferences' (Amy Chua)."
Similarly, in the paragraph where you discuss Hanna Rosin's views, you could include the author's name after the sentence: "On the other side of this debate is Mrs. Rosin. Ms Rosin is a self-described 'weak-willed, pathetic Western parent that Ms. Chua describes' (Hanna Rosin)."
By following these guidelines and properly crediting the authors' quotes and paraphrases, you can ensure that you have met the requirements of the assignment and avoid any critical errors.