Background
Ten years ago, you started working as a clerk for DMD Medical Supplies.
Six months ago, Liz Jakowski, the human resources director, promoted
you to office manager. You manage two employees: Jack Snyder and
Ruth Disselkoen. Your office provides secretarial support for the four
members of the executive team. Two years ago, Liz had assigned Jack to
support Ralph Alane and Jessica Hilo. Ruth was assigned to Samuel
Daley and Frank Daley. The work flow was equally balanced.
You’ve noticed that in the last three months Ruth has cut her breaks
short to complete her work, complains of being tired, and at least twice
a month requires overtime hours costing the company an additional
$200 a month. In the last three weeks, Frank Daley has complained to
you a few times about the poor quality of Ruth’s work.
On the other hand, over the last three months, Jack frequently seems to
have little to do. He has begun coming in late a
couple times a week and taking more than the allotted break times.
What work he does have, however, is always professionally completed.
Clearly, you must investigate to determine what is causing this change
and how to improve the situation. Since nothing has changed in the personal
lives of either Jack or Ruth, you conclude you must focus on the
in-office work situation. You learn the following facts:
• Samuel and Frank Daley share a part-time administrative assistant
who works only 15 hours a week.
• Ralph Alane and Jessica Hilo share a full-time administrative
assistant.
• Jessica Hilo has been on medical leave for the last four months,
and Liz Jakowski isn’t sure whether Jessica will be able to return
to work.
80 Examination
• Jessica’s duties have been temporarily reassigned to Ralph and
Frank.
Although you don’t have the authority to change who Jack and Ruth are
assigned to work for, you clearly need to change the work the two do so
that both Jack and Ruth work regularly without requiring overtime.
Process
Adhere to the following outlined process when writing your exam.
Planning
1. The background explains the primary cause of the workflow problem
and the negative effects resulting from it. Your task is to make
up a realistic plan which solves the uneven productivity between
Jack and Ruth. Use prewriting tools like brainstorming, cluster or
webbing diagrams, and freewriting to outline the cause-effect situation
and to develop a specific solution that best solves the problem.
Also ask yourself the following questions to expand your prewriting.
• How long has this situation been going on?
• Why did the problems begin when they did?
• Am I able to solve the problem at its root cause or am I only
able to manage the impact of the problem?
• Is this a temporary or permanent problem?
• How has the company been affected?
• How have the employees been affected?
• What’s in my power to change? What must stay the same?
• What are two or three ways to improve the efficiency of my
office?
• How much work, time, and money would be required to implement
each solution?
• Does each solution stop all the negative effects?
• Are there any benefits to the change beyond stopping what is
occurring?
Examination 81
• How exactly would each change affect Jack, Ruth, and the executive
team?
• What would I have to do to make sure each change goes
through as planned and to monitor the situation once the solution
is in place?
2. From your prewriting, develop the single best solution to the situation
described in the background. Obviously, you won’t be able to
use everything you’ve prewritten, so your first step is to choose
what’s most important for the purpose and audience. As you outline
a solution, you may need to make up more specific details that
define the steps of the plan and describe particular benefits of the
plan.
Drafting
3. Next, sort your details and information about the problem and the
plan into one of the two sections given below. Don’t worry about
complete sentences for this sorting stage; merely list the information
under the appropriate section. Use information from both the
background and your prewriting.
Section 1
• Facts and figures that define the problem (the cause)
• Details that show the impact of the problem (effects) on Jack,
Ruth, and the company
Section 2
• The steps needed to change the situation
• Reason to implement each step, including the benefits to your
employees, your supervisor, and the company
• Information about your role in the change
4. After sorting the information, draft a first-try, rough paragraph for
Section 1 and another paragraph for Section 2. Your goal is to
place the listed information in the most logical order using sentence
and paragraph format. Leave all spelling, grammar, punctuation,
and other mistakes exactly as they are. Don’t do any editing as you
write this first draft. The worse it looks at this stage, the better
your final product will appear in contrast.
82 Examination
5. Set your rough draft aside and don’t work any further on this
assignment for at least 24 hours.
6. After your break, reread the background information and the questions
guiding your prewriting in Step 1. Then reread the rough
paragraphs you drafted for Section 1 and 2 to refresh your memory.
If you came up with new ideas since you wrote the draft, add
your thoughts before you go further.
Revising
7. Focus on the rough draft of Section 2, which you wrote in Step 4.
Divide the paragraph into two main ideas and reorganize your
information accordingly to develop two separate paragraphs based
on Section 2. The paragraphs must first describe your solution and
then persuade your supervisor to implement that solution. Each
paragraph must have one main idea related to this purpose and
audience.
Note: Don’t revise Section 1. Revise only the rough draft you wrote
for Section 2, expanding the single paragraph into two paragraphs.
8. Prewrite further if needed to develop more details and explanation
to flesh out the two paragraphs based on Section 2. Next, apply
the drafting and revising strategies taught in this and previous
study units to produce two properly developed paragraphs.
Together these two paragraphs must total between 200 to 300
words.
9. Once again, set your work aside for at least 24 hours.
10. Read the evaluation criteria given on the next page, which will be
used to score your work. Continue to revise, edit, and proofread
the two paragraphs from Section 2 to meet each of the criteria.
11. Once you have a final, polished version of the two paragraphs
based on Section 2, open a new document on your computer’s
word-processing program and type your work. Format the document
to double space, using a standard font, size 12, left justification
(also called align left and ragged right). Set 1-inch or
1.25-inch margins for both left and right sides of the page. Indent
the first line of each paragraph by 0.5-inch tab. Hit Enter only once
after the first paragraph to begin the second paragraph. Don’t use
any other type of format, such as a letter or memo. Merely type
the two paragraphs.
HERE IS WHAT I WROTE IS IT GOOD ?
Section 1
Jessica Hilo, a full time assistant working at our company DMD Medical Supplies, took a medical leave four months ago. A month later, I started noticed problems within the work flow. The problems are with my two employees, Jack Snyder and Ruth Disselkoen. Jack supports the team of Jessica Hilo and Ralph Alane, and Ruth supports the team of Frank and Samuel Daley. Frank and Samuel are part time assistants, whereas Ralph and Jessica are full time assistants. After Jessica’s leave, Ruth had an overload of work in contrast to Jack who had little to do. Because of the burden of work, Ruth cuts her breaks short, complains of being tired, has poor work quality, which Frank complained about a few times, and needs overtime hours at least twice a month costing an additional $200. On the other hand, Jack has begun coming late, takes more than the allotted break times, and frequently seems to have little to do. However, his work is always professionally completed. As a result, I will schedule a meeting with the Human Resource Director, Liz Jakowski, and all teams involved, to resolve this matter.
Section 2
As office manager, I believe the best way to solve this situation would be to assign both teams a full-time assistant. As we are uncertain of when Jessica is coming back, we can hire a temporary replacement. This would cost more money but would ameliorate the work flow among both teams. Nevertheless, we should try this solution for a three-month trial period. Meanwhile, I will constantly supervise the work flow to ensure everything goes well. With this solution in place, I believe it will make our employees happier, minimize stress for everyone, and make the business, as a whole, more efficient over the longer term.
p.s: I am visual so if you make changes please let me know what are they so i can see the change and correct myself.
ALSO, thank you so much in advance for your help :)
among both teams
It's better to use "between both teams" because "both" means two. Generally, you should use "between" when referring to two people or entities (in this case "teams") and "among" when referring to three or more.
Your paragraphs for Section 1 and Section 2 are well-organized and provide clear information. However, there are a few changes you can make for better clarity and flow.
For Section 1, consider rearranging the information to provide a clear cause-effect relationship:
"Four months ago, Jessica Hilo, a full-time assistant at DMD Medical Supplies, went on medical leave. Since then, the work flow within our office has been disrupted. As a result, my employees, Jack Snyder and Ruth Disselkoen, have been affected. Jack, who supports Jessica Hilo and Ralph Alane, has little work to do and has started coming in late and taking longer breaks. On the other hand, Ruth, who supports Frank and Samuel Daley, has been overloaded with work, cutting her breaks short, feeling tired, and producing poor-quality work. This has resulted in additional overtime hours and complaints from Frank regarding the quality of Ruth's work."
For Section 2, consider providing more detail on the steps you will take to solve the situation:
"As the office manager, I propose the implementation of a solution that would involve assigning both teams a full-time assistant. Since we are uncertain of when Jessica will return, hiring a temporary replacement seems reasonable. Although this would incur additional costs for the company, it would greatly balance the work flow between the teams. To evaluate the effectiveness of this solution, we can conduct a three-month trial period. During this time, I will closely monitor the work flow, ensuring smooth operations and identifying any necessary adjustments. By implementing this solution, I believe it will improve employee satisfaction, reduce stress levels, and increase overall efficiency in the long run."
These revisions maintain the original content and structure while enhancing clarity and coherence. Remember to proofread your final version before submission. Great job on the initial draft, and good luck with your exam!